..no, I can’t and won’t explain it…

Freepers:

Over My Dead Body, Son

Dr. John Piper

Summary: Today’s post was originally run March 5th at DesiringGod. Dr. John Piper is a member of the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.

Come on, dads, have some courage. Just say, “Over my dead body are you going to wrestle a girl.” Of course, they will call you prudish. But everything in you knows better…

Okay, dads, here’s what you tell your son. You say, “There will be no belittling comments about her being ‘a girl.’ There will be no sexual slurs. If you get matched with her, you simply say to the judges, ‘Sir, I won’t wrestle a girl. My parents have taught me not to touch a girl that way. I think it would dishonor her. I hope you will match me with a guy. If not, I am willing to be disqualified. It’s that important.’”

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To: Edit35
what would you do in that situation?

If I was forced to wrestle a female my values that I was raised with (never hit a girl) would take over and I would politely roll over and let her pin me with no resistance.

Besides being a chivalrous way to protest it would be considerably less embarrassing than if she ACTUALLY pinned me.

So you’re a wingnut named Steve, and you’re a father of two college-aged kids. While the older one is a drug addict, the younger one just returned home during a freshman-year break with a 3.6 gpa…and a newly-stimulated capacity for progressive thought. Now there’s some real trouble.

What’s a conserva-daddy to do? Try ‘write Townhall.com’s Mike Adams.’ Once anyone at Townhall gets involved, you know it’s going to be funny, or stupid and cruel. Or all of the above:

Dear Steve:

Thanks for writing me with your concerns about your daughter’s recent visit home from college. I don’t have a daughter but I can understand the concern you have after seeing such dramatic changes in her after just six months at a public university. After all, you didn’t save money for eighteen long years in order to pay someone to teach her to despise the values you taught for, well, eighteen long years.

Damn right–your money’s precious. Of course, other parents routinely call that crisis ‘growing up’ as opposed to ‘fraud’, but pardon my interruption.

But there is good news, Steve. I think I can implement a program that will cure your daughter’s Socialist Teaching Disorder (STD) in just a few short days. In case you were wondering, I define STD as the sudden infatuation with socialism brought on by exposure to pro-socialist ideas without a corresponding exposure to anti-socialist ideas… The solution to your daughter’s STD is to be found in your decision to award her a sum of $4000 if she returns from her freshman year with a 3.5 GPA or above…

1. When your daughter returns from college in early May (presumably with a GPA over 3.5) I want you to tell her that you lied. Put simply, when she asks about her $4000 just tell her that you never really had any intention of delivering on your promises…

But when she protests, simply point out that her choice for president, Barack Obama, also lied to her… She might say, “But you’re my father.” If she does, respond by saying “But I’m not your president.”

First, if anything is clear now, right-wingers waving bonuses is a recipe for disaster. Second, when a poor nineteen year-old is promised thousands of dollars for months of successfully grinding out university work, pulling that money back will not go well. And Dads flat-out punking the good kid is a bad idea.

2. When your daughter has cooled down somewhat from the realization that her father is a confessed liar I want you to strike again. Since your son, now 23, still lives at home it will be possible for you to implement step two in the presence of both children. This step will involve simply taking out your wallet and writing a $2000 check to your son…

She may well point out that her brother is unemployed. She may also point out that he has been in rehab twice and that he once punched you in the face while under the influence of drugs. But, when she protests, simply say that it was Barack Obama who taught you to reward failure.

That’s right, the President’s the one who’s been demanding AIG executives and other idiots get their promised bonuses, that sounds familiar. He’s also the one who’s sticking right by Rick Wagoner, the guy who ran GM into the ground.

3. I’m going to take your daughter and the remaining $2000 – in the form of one hundred $20 bills – to the “hood.” Specifically, I am going to take her to places where crack cocaine is sold here in Wilmington in the middle of the afternoon. This will include grocery stores and actual crack houses. Don’t worry about your daughter’s safety as I will be armed with a .357 magnum loaded with 145-grain silver tipped hollow point bullets.

[Gun nut alert--]

When I approach a crack head I will first ask whether he paid income taxes last year. If he says “no” I will hand him $20. If your daughter asks me why I give money to people who don’t pay taxes I’ll remind her that this is what President Obama does…

By the end of the afternoon, I can guarantee your daughter will be cured of her STD. Sorry if I sound overly optimistic, Steve. I got my optimism from the same place I got my love of capitalism. I learned it from Ronald Reagan, not Barack Obama.

And by ‘overly optimistic’, we can presume you mean punishing, dishonest, family-wise dysfunctional and obsequious to power. Reagan, not Obama-check.

[cross-posted at Oxdown Gazette]

“Salute to Bach,” amazing:

..that’s good.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0K-J_oz2zwc]

Thanks to Wonk Room:

Top Papers Assign Golf, Baseball, And Culture Writers To The Climate Policy Beat

Pretty amazing, too. UConn.

GLENDALE, Ariz — The night before Saturday’s West Regional final, Connecticut coach Jim Calhoun told freshman point guard Kemba Walker that he needed to “stop enjoying the trip and go out and play basketball.” Translated from coach-speak, Calhoun meant that Walker needed to go from bit player to a headliner.

Swagger he did, during and after the Huskies 82-75 victory over Missouri, which put them in the Final Four in Detroit next week. Walker scored a team-high 23 points off the bench, with five assists and only two turnovers in 25 minutes, thriving in the breakneck, playground-style of a game like the New Yorker that he is.

University of Oklahoma, he’s pretty good.

Tonight, wherever you are.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ci6i6a421U]

When science is taken away from congressmen, only scientists will have guns.

As Zuul as my witness, I have absolutely no idea why this has caught on as a great way to ding Obama.

…Obama came before the nation to sell one of the most expensive and politically risky agendas ever offered by a U.S. president, but his language was heavy with caution. A hard-willed plan given a soft sell.

The teleprompter was no help during the question-and-answer session (reporters don’t signal their intentions), but Obama was no less careful during that give and take.

…WAIT–he’s careful whether he’s using a teleprompter or not? I don’t get it. What was the title of this article again?

Analysis: Teleprompter telegraphs Obama caution

Unbelievable.

Calm. Cool. Careful.

Even better, he likes to have it up on the teleprompter.

Geez–what idiot wrote this?

EDITOR’S NOTE: Ron Fournier is the Washington bureau chief for The Associated Press.

Oh, that guy..

…the one who’s not Karl Rove.