Because she’s out to get a date.

Soldiers Returning Home To Fight The ‘War On Jerks‘
by Rachel Marsden
04/23/2009

This week marks the two year anniversary of Democratic Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid declaring the Iraq war virtually hopeless. Coincidentally, so were my dating prospects. One of the best side effects of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan is that there are men worth dating again.

On the battlefield of love, I’m a decorated five-star general, navigating the endless minefield of jerks with the attitude of Patton and the skill of Napoleon (or, some might say, Rommel).

The skill of Napoleon? Who got his butt absolutely whipped at Waterloo, resulting in his exile and death on St. Helena? Or Rommel, who got routed in North Africa, then got stuck back in Germany only to get accused of a conspiracy? He was allowed to commit suicide, lucky him.

Soldiers know the meaning of commitment. Those who volunteer for service are obligated to sign a contract and stick to it. Chances are that if they managed to resist several years of, “I really don’t want to risk going out and getting my head blown off today, I think I’ll bail,” kind of thinking, they’ll probably be less tempted to cancel on a nice dinner out that doesn’t involve grenades and head shots.

Head shots? Anybody would bail on a dinner that would ‘involve’ bullets fired at their head, obviously. By your arguments, however, your heroic dates would be less likely to bail on a dinner that does involve ‘grenades and head shots’, right? They’re warriors who have chosen to march into those insane environments before.

It’s your traditional civilians that would be ‘less tempted to cancel on a nice dinner out that doesn’t involve grenades and head shots.’ No sweat–I’m there.

On and on…