FIRST: Once the scandal is beginning to break, slough off the controversy. ‘You guys have lost your marbles. You’re just fishing. You’re a whackjob, cuckoo.’

–”…By the way, this has nothing to do with Governor Sanford…just disappearing! HIS WIFE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW…FOR DAYS! She didn’t, ok, she didnt call for helicopters, or 911. Apparently, apparently their marriage is so dead that she didn’t even call for police. I suspect she killed him, yeah.”
–”Or he killed her…”
–”Yeah–I’d like to bring them both in for questioning, now that we know where he is!”
–”What’s next Governor Sanford–fishing at Christmas? We know how that works.”
–”We know how it works! You and your wife–double murderers!”

SECOND: When the guy turns out to be as bad as suspected, get angry: “Stay away! Fuck you! You’ve got no right, you hypocritical jerks.”

“You don’t get to judge.

The Library of Congress could hardly contain chapter and verse of the multitudes of ways the press and the other Democrats have gotten away with judging Republicans by wholly different standards than that applied to Democrats. But that double standard is both obvious and as wide as the Grand Canyon. You show no honor, no equity, no fairness, and no scruples yourselves. You, to put it mildly, do not police your own.

We do. We’ll deal with Sanford. We have standards (you don’t), and we have a long history of punishing and purging our leaders who prove unworthy of trust. For your part, serial adulterer Bill Clinton remains a rock star as far as you are concerned, and that about sums up the standards to which Democrats hold themselves..

So, spare us your mock outrage, your tut-tutting, your finger-wagging, your eyebrows furrowed in anger. If you are well and truly outraged by Mark Sanford’s adultery, but could not trouble yourself to muster even a little mild disapproval against the cretin who wiped his feet with the honor of the office of President of the United States, then you are a hypocrite yourself of the lowest stripe. You are unworthy to judge.

So just shut up.”

THIRD: Turn it around: “You know what? Now that I’ve thought about it, it’s really all your fault…”

The ‘morality and responsibility’ people in American politics, there you go.