He’s just yer regular, old, salt-of-the-Earth Wisconsinite. Stabbing his middle class neighbors in the throat. Bailing on his wife to go live with his 25 year-old hottie, with her posh right-wing lobbying job and lingering, cosmopolitan baby fat:

WI Repub lives outside district with mistress, says wife
By David Ferguson | Sunday, March 13th, 2011 | RawStory

Protesters who marched at the home of Wisconsin state senator Randy Hopper (R-Fond du Lac) were met with something of a surprise on Saturday. Mrs. Hopper appeared at the door and informed them that Sen. Hopper was no longer in residence at this address, but now lives in Madison, WI with his 25-year-old mistress.

Woah. They were just looking to recall the sonuvabitch for being a Walker-esque, union-busting jerk? And the wife dropped dime on Mr. Family Values? Excellent.

Blogging Blue reports that the conservative Republican’s much-younger new flame is currently employed as a lobbyist for right-wing advocacy group Persuasion Partners, Inc., but was previously a state senate staffer who worked on the Senate Economic Development Committee alongside Mr. Hopper. Her bio has been scrubbed from the Persuasion Partners’ website, but a screen-grab is available here.

Here’s Sen. Douche:

Could be his two kids there, probably is. Not really sure, though. His biography is suspiciously difficult to pin down. His life story (certainly his wife’s story) has gotten a recent scrubbing by staffers and friends.

“Citing recent threats during the budget repair bill battle, Republican Senator Randy Hopper says he will not participate in Saturday’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade in Fond du Lac,” reports WBAY TV. “In a written statement, Senator Hopper said, ‘I had looked forward to walking the parade route and sharing this celebration with my family, friends, neighbors, and constituents, but I, in no way, want to put the citizens of Fond du Lac in harm’s way.’”

Oh Lord no. Not Randy Hopper, no sir. He really cares about others. He wonders how they’re doing. Hey there, buddy — how you been?

Got a strabismus and a wicked case of dry eye. Still — all smiles, Senator!

And you, baby — how you doing?

Aw, you know how I’m doing. Come home.

Note: My original post included an image of a woman who appeared to be Valerie Cass but was not. I offer my apologies to the mis-identified Valerie.