And how are we to take posts like this seriously?

Where’s the Left’s Sarah Palin?
08 April 2010 5:00 pm by Taylor Marsh

There remains a “Hillary hole,” with women wanting their turn, while people hunger for something radically different. .

Pardon?

. . which is currently being filled by the Tea Party, a star named Sarah and her fans.

Oh. Wait — what?

Not surprisingly, as poll after poll on her rolls out, the narrative on Sarah Palin continues to be filled out unfairly. I know, you’re shocked. But love her or hate her, whether she runs in 2012 or not, when you look at the left, the reality is there’s no anti-Palin progressive who matches what Palin’s got.

Come again and again? I don’t know who Taylor Marsh is, but how oblivious can you be? Is there a French phrase for something like the opposite of “double entendre”? For being simultaneously clueless in both the literal and the unintentional? Double inconscient? Probably not close, but at least I’m aware of that.

The “Hillary hole”? C’moooooooon. Jeezus. You couldn’t have called it something barely less jarring, like “The currently invaginated political playing field”? “The left’s nagging hunger after the Hillary pull-out”? “Naked snaps of the liberal political landscape”? “The Democrats’ soft spot now begging to be filled”?

The “Hillary hole.” Alllllrrrright.

First — my fingers are trying to keep a straight face — there is no “hole” because Hillary is still around. And already my keyboard is giggling and disagreeing, terrific. This won’t stop with you, will it? Okay, funny clacks, you want comedy, here:

That’s actually one of the links in the post. Now the monitor’s fallen down, quite hysterical. I can’t see a thung I’m typong. Get up, dammit, I own you.

Gah. So it can’t be a “Hillary hole,” it’s more a “Palin hole” since that’s what’s missing, whatever it is. Gee, I wonder why you didn’t call it that. What? Yes, fine, plenty of liberals will volunteer to fill it. Yes, some amount of booze and ear plugs would be wise, sure. And aren’t all of you, the things on my desk, talented comedians?

But you can’t look at Palin and wonder where the Dem equivalent is. Palin is a strictly right-wing phenomenon. She’s a domesticated pet with good looks and spunky, sit-com ways. And she has a thrilling grasp on the issues as profound as a cat’s. What? I am not gonna repeat that.

Therein lies her political charm, Conservative-wise. Only on the right can some idiot walk right out of the wings and into the spotlight to the cheers of even veteran political Conservatives. So much of wingnut politics are posturing and symbolism. Fred Thompson and Newt Gingrich are so dumb I’m surprised they manage to survive into the next day, but they’re still around and much respected. Somehow, they look the part, and that’s enough.

By stark contrast, Hillary is the real thing. I didn’t pick her over Obama, but I wouldn’t have been disturbed if she’d been elected, she’s wise and capable. It took years for her to become a trusted figure, and that’s the way it should be. We’re not wrestling fans, we don’t want anything like a leftist Palin. No one sees your “hole.” The stapler says “try peeking.” Hilarious. Where’s their serious, capable lawyer-woman? Where’s their young, black orator? Wait — where’s our Morman businessman? This is a silly take.

Taylor, you can stop flacking, jocking, rocking or pounding your “Hillary hole.” And maybe try to get a friend to read your posts before you click ‘publish.’ K?

Right. What? Yes, that was some sweet Palin polling, lucky you. Not bad.

At a time when Americans self-identify as ‘Republicans’ less than at any time in the last 8 years, they want to squeeze candidates through ‘purity’ bottlenecks? This is a good idea? Will this help attract new, and especially rare non-white, folks to their ‘pure’ Republican candidates? Doesn’t sound like it.

G.O.P. Considers ‘Purity’ Resolution for Candidates
By ADAM NAGOURNEY

The battle among Republicans over what the party should stand for — and how much it should accommodate dissenting views on important issues — is probably going to move from the states to the Republican National Committee when it holds its winter meeting this January in Honolulu.

Republican leaders are circulating a resolution listing 10 positions Republican candidates should support to demonstrate that they “espouse conservative principles and public policies” that are in opposition to “Obama’s socialist agenda.” According to the resolution, any Republican candidate who broke with the party on three or more of these issues– in votes cast, public statements made or answering a questionnaire – would be penalized by being denied party funds or the party endorsement.

What do the proposed ‘purity’ vows look like? Here:

(1) We support smaller government, smaller national debt, lower deficits and lower taxes by opposing bills like Obama’s “stimulus” bill;

(2) We support market-based health care reform and oppose Obama-style government run health care;

(3) We support market-based energy reforms by opposing cap and trade legislation;

(4) We support workers’ right to secret ballot by opposing card check;

(5) We support legal immigration and assimilation into American society by opposing amnesty for illegal immigrants;

(6) We support victory in Iraq and Afghanistan by supporting military-recommended troop surges;

(7) We support containment of Iran and North Korea, particularly effective action to eliminate their nuclear weapons threat;

(8) We support retention of the Defense of Marriage Act;

(9) We support protecting the lives of vulnerable persons by opposing health care rationing and denial of health care and government funding of abortion; and

(10) We support the right to keep and bear arms by opposing government restrictions on gun ownership.

Not only is this a bad idea for a party that’s in danger of becoming marginalized, the list itself is a complete joke, the sort of thing that insiders write for insiders to read and then cheer about. Poorly written, poorly thought out and full of flimsy talking points, it’s easily made fun of…

1.) You’d oppose Obama’s well-known stimulus bill tax cuts? 237 fricking billion dollars? Are you guys lying, or just stupid?

9.) Most ridiculous of all–do you know how many Americans die because they have no access to healthcare? It’s far past rationing, it’s full-blown denial, followed by death.

If I can trump this pathetic thing in a matter of a couple minutes, I doubt that it’ll score with centrists and outsiders who are notoriously slow to buy political pablum. And that’s whom the Republicans desperately need.

ADD: Keith Olbermann notes that this ‘purity test’ would have, in the past, excluded a bunch of half-asses like…Ronald Reagan:

If I wake up early enough tomorrow, stay tuned for an eventual ‘Lou Dobbs = Sarah Palin’ post because the parallels are obvious (sure).

Such a pompous fool. The guy doesn’t have a political party, but he thinks he can be President. Because what he does have is…television.

‘Mr. Independent’ mulls White House bid

…Less than two weeks after announcing his departure from the cable network—and following a series of interviews in which Dobbs encouraged speculation about his political plans—the anchorman known to fans as “Mr. Independent” finally made his presidential ambitions explicit on former Sen. Fred Thompson’s radio show Monday.

Asked if he might make a run at the White House in 2012, Dobbs answered flatly: “Yes is the answer.”

“I’m going to be talking some more with some folks who want me to listen in the next few weeks,” Dobbs told Thompson. “Right now I’m fortunate to have a number of wonderful options.”…

Lou Dobbs spoke to Fred Thompson? Just how do cattle communicate?

Did I mention that Lou Dobbs is a miserable liar?

BILL O’REILLY: Let me be very bold and fresh again. Do you believe that you are smart enough, incisive enough, intellectual enough, to handle the most powerful job in the world?

“I believe that I am because I have common sense, and I have, I believe, the values that are reflective of so many other American values, and I believe that what Americans are seeking is not the elitism, the, um, the ah..kinda a spineless..a spinelessness that perhaps is made up for that with some kind of elite Ivy League education and and a fat resume that’s based on anything but hard work and private sector, free enterprise principles Americans are, could be seeking something like that in positive change in their leadership, I’m not saying that that has to be me.”

How many steps are involved in eventually casting a vote that counts in an election?

There are a few:
1. You must become eligible.
2. You must register.
3. Your eligibility has to be verified.
4. The state must put you on the voter roll.
5. You have to show up to vote.
6. Election officials have to verify your valid voter identity.
7. You have to cast a valid vote.
8. Your vote has to get counted.

Republicans’ satanic Wizards/Nazis, ACORN, are involved with step two. And now, some crazy…

Poll: Majority Of Republicans Think Obama Didn’t Actually Win 2008 Election — ACORN Stole It!

The new national poll from Public Policy Polling (D) has an astonishing number about paranoia among the GOP base: Republicans do not think President Obama actually won the 2008 election — instead, ACORN stole it.

…The poll asked this question: “Do you think that Barack Obama legitimately won the Presidential election last year, or do you think that ACORN stole it for him?” The overall top-line is legitimately won 62%, ACORN stole it 26%.

Among Republicans, however, only 27% say Obama actually won the race, with 52% — an outright majority — saying that ACORN stole it, and 21% are undecided.

Among McCain voters, the breakdown is 31%-49%-20%. By comparison, independents weigh in at 72%-18%-10%, and Democrats are 86%-9%-4%…

Call them idiots, but they’ve got a huge chunk of the electorate believing the whopping lie. This is how you inspire a nation to vote Republican in the midst of brutal, Republican-caused misery.

The party of genius patriots, the Republican Party, has a dream ticket? Newsmax:

It’s no secret that former GOP vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin and Fox News host Glenn Beck share great respect and admiration — so their fans can be forgiven for wondering: Is a “dream ticket” of Palin-Beck ticket completely out of the question?

“…I can envision a couple of different combinations, if ever I were to be in a position to really even seriously consider running for anything in the future, and I’m not there yet,” Palin tells Newsmax. “But Glenn Beck I have great respect for. He’s a hoot. He gets his message across in such a clever way. And he’s so bold — I have to respect that. He calls it like he sees it, and he’s very, very, very effective.”

Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, I guess that’s a sort of ‘dream.’ I can imagine less cartoonish campaigns for the White House. How about these?

–A. Fart and A. Sneeze, for the ‘Zoom/Rocket Party.’ “A fresh start…”

–Deedee Tee and Diane Pelikins, a phenomenon for the Greens. “Pure chemistry…”

–B. Follow Zay/Strait N. Narrow, holding the line for the Non-Sequitur/Anarchists Collective (seminars and webinars available).

–D. ‘Cap’ Hutate and Emma Balm. The Washington Post: “…adrenalizing Right-To-Lifers…”

–G. Zizzux and Judah Zarocks, the idols of the ‘Classic Christian Caucus.’ Meeting every Friday, down at The Hungry Lion. For steaks.

–Kay G. Bee and I.C. Yoo: “Watch the Libertarians Now!”

–Pick Awar/N.E. War. ‘Prospects for Peace and Fiscal Discipline’ say…“You Can Count on Them…”

–Strom Thurmond and Bull Connor: “Whipping the Democratic Faithful into a Frenzy…”

And, finally:
–‘Shooter’ Cadaver Innaface/N. Stomp Itsballz, for that resurgent ‘Conservative Party.’ Their motto: “Nothing beats Conservative hopefuls like ourselves…”

Sarah’s giving a rare speech tonight in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Or whatever it is you call it when she stands before a crowd and skripes a rusty Mag-Lite flashlight up the ass of ‘English.’ Just remember: you can’t get into the event if you want to hold on to your cell phone.

Well, that’s just like rugged ol’ Alaska, isn’t it? Go down to the corner bar, walk through the door, and see the sign: “No Cameras, No Laptops, No Cellphones.” Damn. Where can I stow this thing? “Ask the valet.” Oh, right, over by the Wheat Grass bar.

Rule #113 of post-modern life: tight-asses are terrified of the YouTube…

(CNN) – Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is set to deliver remarks at a Wisconsin Right to Life event Friday evening, one of the few speeches the former Republican presidential nominee will have given since she resigned the governorship last summer.

But Palin appears to be doing her best to keep a low profile on this trip: no press will be allowed into the Milwaukee auditorium where she will speak and those who have paid the $30 admittance fee are unable to carry in cell phones, cameras, laptops, or recording devices of any kind.

Wisconsin Democratic Party Chairman Mike Tate told the Wisconsin Radio Network he finds all these restrictions “bizarre.”

“You know, for someone who claims to be a rogue and isn’t afraid of what other people think it really is sort of hypocritical to not let the media, the press cover your event.”

How do you run for President like that? How do you get your ‘message’ out–by semaphore? At some point she’s either got to get a lot better at speaking to crowds, or got to give the dream up.

Who needs to own something, or be a member of something, or know anything about something in order to render a really good opinion on it? Say, what’s up with women and their crazy hairdos?

Huckabee: Evangelicals more supportive of Israel than Jews?

Mike Huckabee, a longtime Christian Zionist wrapping up a trip to Israel, tells CBN that he was struck by firmer support for Israel — as he sees it — from American Christians than from American Jews.

“One of the things I find most interesting is that generally Evangelicals are so much more supportive of Israel than the American Jewish community,” Huckabee, an ordained Baptist minister, said.

Supportive of Israel, even if they don’t ever play a role in The Rapture? I wonder.

“…There’s great division within the American Jewish Community about the level of support for Israel,” he went on.

No, there isn’t in the least. If Israel were seriously attacked, as if its existence were seriously threatened, Jews by the tens of thousands would stream out of America to take up arms and fight. Mike Huckabee sure as hell wouldn’t. The odds of any of Mike’s passionate Evangelicals doing the same would be slightly above zero (because of the rabid, incorrigible whackos that certainly would).

“I think they all support Israel, want to see it succeed. But you’ll find people all over the board about whether they think ii ought to have … absolute control over its border and whether they should give up land for peace and just how many countries can oversee Jerusalem at one time.”

First, Israel’s already succeeded, it’s not going anywhere, so enough of the apocalyptic rhetoric. Second, this is the nature of fully vested reality, or ‘ownership’.

Your son comes home and complains about a group of bullies who have been beating him up at school. Drunken Uncle Mike, of course, comes in and tells the boy to go back tomorrow and beat everyone of them up, no surrender. “I just love the boy so much, my level of support for him is absolutely through the roof. He oughta beat ‘em all senseless–good for him!”

“I don’t find that kind of dichotomy generally within the Evangelical community,” Huckabee said. “It’s pretty adamant: There ought to be one city. It ought to be a Jewish state. And it ought to be secure. So maybe one of the hard things is to convince some of our Jewish friends that Evangelicals are the best friends they’ve got — because I think generally, that’s the case.”

Toma and sons, the 100 year-old family business, is struggling. We could partner with a larger company to survive, but then the business name will change, and control will be given up. Drunken Uncle Mike comes in: “FUCK ‘EM. Who do they think they are, telling you how to run your company? You don’t need anybody in the world, your company is the BEST. You’re the best. That’s just the way I feel. Incidentally, nobody supports you the way I do…”

‘Speaking to a small group of foreign reporters in Jerusalem, Huckabee said the international community should consider establishing a Palestinian state some place else.

“The question is should the Palestinians have a place to call their own? Yes, I have no problem with that. Should it be in the middle of the Jewish homeland? That’s what I think has to be honestly assessed as virtually unrealistic.”‘

Hot and dumb equals…leader of the free world!

Somebody named ‘Britney’ for VP! Wait–a cat named Britney! Family values, yarn!

The military! Freedom!