Meet Arlen Williams. He’s a sensible-looking blAAAAUGGH . . .

Pardon. He’s a . . blogger for Conservative website ‘Renew America.’

Arlen Williams is not batcrap crazy. Arlen is not a giant bat-pyramid of bats overstuffed of crazy and crapping continually. Arlen is not mountains of looney-bin rats fancying themselves banana bats and cannon-crapping their nuthouse jammies.

Now there’s a post title. What’s the greatest scandal in modern history, btw? Colonialism? Killed a few tens of million people.

Seriously, is this anything more than Mad Libs for right-wing politics? “My brother Ricky and I walked down to the corner store to get some SOCIALISM! because my mother said she wanted to bake me SOCIALISM!!! for my birthday.”

Marxo-global-corporatism! That is rich, privately held companies in a system that abolishes such a thing. The workers control the means of production, but the owner controls the government. Oookay.

“There once was yet another shithouse-rat crazy Christian blogger.” [EXEUNT]

– “HALABAH HALA BALAL KALANA ]ABAKA ;LA;A BAKAJANA”

[*Now that the infidels will not use nuclear weapons, we can unleash our murderous clouds of Mustard Gas*]

– “HALAD LALA LAHAJA KAHA KAGA K;AKALA;AK”

[*Launch all 210,000 of our missiles*]

– “HALLAH! ALLAH-HALAH!”

[*They have landed! The Americans are choking in the streets!*]

– “JALAH HAKALA! AHAJ KALAK AJALA; LA GAJA LA’A'ALAKA!”

[*Look at them die! Gotta admit, this turned out to be easier than I figured!*]

– “ALLAH! HALAH-ALLAH!”

[*Holy crap! They're all dead!*]

. . MINE! YES!! Evvvveeerrrrrrythhhhiiiinnnnnngg MINE!!

Here are my demands:

1.) You’ll be loving me with all your heart.
2.) I’ll be eating all your sheep. Please have them shorn by dinner. Oh, and some of that mint jelly would be nice, whatever you got, just leave it in Nevada. I’ll pick it right up after I stuff my pockets with gaudy casinos and funny buildings.

. . oh, and . . *ahem*. . IF YOU DON’T DO WHAT I TELL YOU TO, I’LL GRIND YOUR BONES TO MAKE BOLOGNA BOATS.

. . not really — sshhh — you know the story . .

Tuesday, March 9th. ESPNOutdoors.com:

Culled out
Public input period for federal fishery strategy has ended

The Obama administration has ended public input for a federal strategy that could prohibit U.S. citizens from fishing some of the nation’s oceans, coastal areas, Great Lakes, and even inland waters . .

Wingnuts explode.

Wednesday March 10th. As reported in Thursday’s New York Times:

National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration chief Jane Lubchenco told a House panel yesterday that her agency had no plans to halt fishing . .

“Both commercial and recreational fishing are vitally important to this nation,” Lubchenco said. “We are not proposing any blanket ban on recreational fishing. I would strongly oppose that, and it is not in the works.”

ESPNOutdoors.com again:

From the editor

ESPNOutdoors.com inadvertently contributed to a flare-up Tuesday when we posted the latest article in a series of stories on President Barack Obama’s newly created Ocean Policy Task Force, a column written by Robert Montgomery . . Regrettably, we made several errors in the editing and presentation of this installment. Though our series has included numerous news stories on the topic, this was not one of them — it was an opinion piece, and should have been clearly labeled as commentary . .

Any confusion on that part rests entirely on my shoulders as the executive editor of this site.

Thursday, March 11th. RenewAmerica.com:

Obama openly rules against the will of the governed and now their lives
By Sher Zieve

. . In previous columns I’ve written about Soviet Dictator Josef Stalin who committed genocide on the Ukrainian people via mass starvation. Stalin began by regulating the food the Ukrainians were allowed to have, then he shipped all of the wheat they had raised to other countries and ended with his goons invading Ukrainian houses and removing every last morsel of food in each and every home. This resulted in the deaths of between 3,000,000-7,000,000 (that’s Millions, folks) Ukrainians. To this day, the numbers are still not known with certainty. Stalin’s thugs buried the bodies in massive graves, then covered them up with tons and tons of dirt.

Fox News and a few other not-completely-controlled-by-the-dictator news sources are reporting that US citizens may or will soon be prohibited from fishing the nation’s oceans, coastal waters, Great Lakes and even inland waters. That’s everywhere, folks. And Robert Montgomery from ESPNOutdoors.com writes: “The Obama administration has ended public input for a federal strategy that could prohibit U.S. citizens from fishing some of the nation’s oceans, coastal areas, Great Lakes, and even inland waters.” Obama also recently dictated — in the manner of a real and true tyrant — that ALL input from the public on this matter has ended and will not be accepted by the tyrant and/or his administration. Could this be Obama’s clever take on the “Stalin Ukrainian problem Solution?” Is this the beginning of the Obama Opposition Solution? Looks like it.

Links?

Obama to end fishing by humans in USA:

http://sports.espn.go.com/outdoors/saltwater/news/story?id=4975762

Obama to ban sport [or all] fishing?:

http://www.thefoxnation.com/culture/2010/03/09/obama-ban-sport-fishing

Josef Stalin Genocide in the 20th Century:

http://www.historyplace.com/worldhistory/genocide/stalin.htm

Dr. Strangelove, anybody? If we’re really lucky, maybe a couple million of us will die. Then we’d be super-safe.

I’m actually understating the dickweed paranoid rhetoric here:

How the hell can these people get away with saying such awful, despicable things? Who roots for the deaths of his fellow Americans?

Scheuer: The only chance we have as a country right now is for Osama bin Laden to deploy and detonate a major weapon in the United States… Only Osama can execute an attack which will force Americans to demand that their government protect them effectively, consistently, and with as much violence as necessary.

Well, then, I’m praying that this last, best hope for America, Osama Bin Laden, finally gets off his ass and slaughters somebody today. Hell, someone just call the FBI and arrange for his transport here, chop-chop. Then give him an atomic bomb and a highlighted map to Yankee Stadium–it’s time we started taking the security of America seriously, people.

And, dammit–if that Arab bastard won’t do it, then I sure as fuck will. When I think about all my terrific neighbors living so wretchedly and defenselessly in peace……well, it just makes me crazy. That’s why I’m going to kill every last one of them. They can thank me later.

And did you catch that final Beck comment, on the defensive response of Americans after Bin Laden actually gets off some wretched, successful attack?

Beck: Which is why, I was thinking this weekend, if I were him, that would be the last thing I would do right now.

So if Bin Laden had a nuke and an opportunity to blow up millions of Americans, he probably shouldn’t do it. Because then Americans would respond by really getting their defenses up. Which would then make it totally hard to……blow up millions of Americans. What a couple of fricking geniuses.

This guy is whack. So that puts this left-field Armageddon theme in serious danger of being appropriated by Glenn Beck. Look for the ‘Chavez Taught Obama to Squat’ banner ads next week on Fox…

Glenn Beck today used a breaking story to crank up the fear-and-ratings-o-matic:

The nation’s electric utilities have failed to fully survey the vulnerability of their equipment to computer-based attacks from foreign countries and hackers, a government-authorized regulatory group concluded this week.

Thankfully, he knew immediately who the saboteurs were and why they were doing it [audio]:

..meanwhile, in a (perhaps?) unrelated event…

Concerned resident aims to form armed militia to patrol Stockton

STOCKTON – A retired truck driver and Vietnam War veteran said Monday that he is forming an armed militia – mostly men with rifles and armbands, four to a car – to patrol Stockton [California] this summer, when at least 43 police officers are to be laid off.

“It’s going to be ‘Stockton Armed Militia,’” Pettet said. “‘SAM’ for short.” [ed. --woah, I totally did not see that coming...]

Pettet said the militia will bill the city $350 per hour for its services. City Attorney Ren Nosky said he knew of no legal basis requiring the city to pay such a bill.

Please, you ‘liberals’, with all your hysterical talk of vigilantes and mob justice, put a sock in it. Glenn Beck and Alan Pettet–these good folks are mercenaries.

[cross-post at Oxdown Gazette]

..this marks the debut of a brand new ‘post category’ for the little black blog, and it’s way past overdue. 78 days into the Obama administration, and the number of people who are seeing the end of the nation, or of the entire planet, continues to grow…