You can ‘doggie’ a dolphin? Doubt it.

Otherwise, hints at a derivation for cornholing.

*SQUANK*

Over at Tucker Carlson’s wingnut site, The Daily Caller, they picked up an article from the Charlotte Observer: “In North Carolina you can let your gun show”

With the Observer article ran a photo [below] of a man openly carrying a pistol: ‘Eric Shuford Jr., 67, of Cary typically keeps his Russian 9 mm Makarov sidearm with him from the time he wakes up . .’

But in Tucker’s online fishwrap, it came appended with a different image:

A shocking image, really, one to question the editor’s taste and sanity, to say nothing of his pro-gun activism. For that photo is maybe the most famous open-carry activist image of all time, burnished in our memories by violent history.

The woman there, Meleanie Hain, was an open-carry nut in Pennsylvania. She sued her local sheriff for a million bucks in part because of the emotional trauma she said she suffered when he revoked her permit to carry after the soccer game photos above became widely distributed. Another:

Most of the Hain brouhaha and 2nd amendment deification went down at the end of 2008. About a year later — stop me if you’ve heard this one before — in October of 2009, her unhinged husband came home and shot her dead. He then turned the beloved gun on himself, ending his life, too.

I remember it well. I wrote a post with my take on the paranoid psyches of the people involved: how the use of firepower as a crutch to lessen anxiety actually leaves you vulnerable. ‘If only Meleanie had seen that her paranoia was well-founded in the relationships she kept with paranoid gun nuts like her husband,’ one wonders. ‘If only she’d traded in her gun for some dignity and common sense . .’

Meanwhile, maybe the firearms freaks should leave her alone?

She was shot dead, Tucker.

POLIBLOG CRASH AND BURN

TownClownhall extra overwrought blogging. They had Obama impeached, on trial, convicted and being run out on a rail somewhere near the D.C. city limits. And then . . . the deadly dull truth shattered the whole damn thing. Countdown to a whole pile of wingnut holidays spent slowly spooning through Haagen Dazs containers behind drawn curtains:

three . .

Thursday, May 27, 2010
Sestak/White House Bribery Scandal Ends Badly However You Slice It
Posted by: Meredith Jessup at 11:50 AM

. . As you’ve undoubtedly heard by now, Sestak contends that the White House offered him a federal job in exchange for bowing out of the Democrats’ Senate primary in Pennsylvania–a potential felony offense. The White House vehemently denies any wrongdoing, and despite making the accusation on multiple occasions, Sestak has dug in and refuses to reveal names, dates and details–which leaves the entire situation at a standstill.

Aside from the obvious obstruction of justice going on here, the political ramifications of this scenario are pretty serious.

two . .

Friday, May 28, 2010
So They Say . . .
Posted by: Carol Platt Liebau at 12:02 PM

So The White House is poised to pin the blame for the Sestak job-swap debacle on former President Bill Clinton.

How convenient. It takes responsibility beyond the Obama administration and puts law enforcement in the difficult position of trying to squeeze the truth out of Bill Clinton (and, of course, does Hillary Clinton’s ambitions — whatever they might be — no good. Don’t think the administration didn’t think of that, too) . .

The truth is that no one will ever get to the bottom of this mess without the main players being put under oath — and that includes Sestak.

one . .

Friday, May 28, 2010
Updated: WH Used Clinton To Ask Sestak To Get Out Of Race, Sestak Responds
Posted by: Jillian Bandes at 1:33 PM

. . Here’s what the “anonymous” White House officials told the New York Times:

“The White House did not offer Mr. Sestak a full-time paid position because [Rahm] Emanuel wanted him to stay in the House rather than risk losing his seat. Among the positions explored by the White House was an appointment to the President’s Intelligence Advisory Board, which provides independent oversight and advice the president.”

. . Update II: Rep. Sestak has released the following statement in response to the White House’s comments from earlier today:

“. . [Clinton] said that White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel had spoken with him about my being on a Presidential Board while remaining in the House of Representatives. I said no. I told President Clinton that my only consideration in getting into the Senate race or not was whether it was the right thing to do for Pennsylvania working families and not any offer. The former President said he knew I’d say that, and the conversation moved on to other subjects . .”

. . FAIL.

Friday, May 28, 2010
So Is Sestak a Liar?
Posted by: Carol Platt Liebau at 3:14 PM

If the White House accounts are true, then it seems that Joe Sestak is a liar . .

And if Sestak lied, what does it tell us about his character that he was willing — for nothing more than his own political gain — to accuse unnamed perpetrators of an offense that could be construed as impeachable . .

. . BWAH HAAA HOOO HEEEEEEEEE CLOWNHALL FAIL BAND:

I imagine it’s safe to say that clumsy, anti-immigration Arizona Governor Jan Brewer is no media genius. It’s probably safe to add that she’s no political genius, either. But it’s certainly now safer to say she’s neither after the release of this silly commercial.

She and her staff thought it’d be a good idea to go after her national liberal detractors through the viral and social media. Unfortunately, this was the best they could do: a dirt-cheap frog fist-puppet, an amateur voice-over (likely a staffer or hack production assistant) so poor that it’s unintelligible, and a 3-line tune devoid of anything resembling rhythm or rhyme. All against a backlit-only background that our Mexican Home Depot locals could’ve painted and pounded out in 90 minutes. This is a statement by the people “driving the debate” on our national immigration policies:

Less than chimpanzee ennui? Less than Druid combat? Less than hellfire Shinto!? Wha!?

Time to meet Kevin Price:

I LOVE YOU DADDY.

MAYBE HE SHOULD BE CALLED MOOKIE-POOKIE. *squeal*

YAY!

I’monna EAT yoo. (hic) OW.

D’yoo . . . (hic) . . d’yoo have any children?

OOOOOOOOokay I’monna eat them too. (hic)

And I’ma hunnert ninety three years old. (hic) OW.

And I’monna suck I can totally smell your blood.

HAY. YOO. I’monna eat your KIDNEY. HA HA. (hic)

SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR KIDNEY (hic) ow cuz it’s gone . .

OH MAN I’Z ONLY KIDDING, c’mon man, aww. (hic)

THAS’ IT. I’monna eat your LIVERS. How yoo guys gon’ be cops (hic) OW without your livers? AWWWWWWW C’MON LET ME OUTTA THIS THING . .

. . your honor, my client would like to sincerely apologize to the court and to Lorain County Sheriff’s Deputies for his unfortunate behavior subsequent to his unlawful arrest.

March 13, 2010

They lied about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, too: A Redneck‘s Lament
By Curtis Dahlgren

JUST ASKING, BUT WHO’S GOING TO BAIL OUT UNCLE SAM WHEN WE ALL GO BROKE?

Which part of “no” do you guys not understand — the ‘N’ or the ‘O’? We the People aren’t buyin the dog food.

For some audio, click in at 4:07.

Conservative California state senator comes out

California State Sen. Roy Ashburn, a conservative Republican with a solidly anti-gay voting record, came out as gay today on a Bakersfield radio station talk show. Ashburn’s sexual orientation had been the talk of Sacramento since the legislator was arrested for drunk driving after leaving a gay bar in the state capital last week.

“I don’t know how else to ask this, but are you going to live this lifestyle now in the district?” Barks asked . .

Nice interview, great journalism. Straights are good to ‘live this lifestlye now in the district’, but for gays it’s an issue worthy of public scrutiny. Beautiful.

And neither of them understands the attention and scorn? When you appease people who fundamentally hate, deride and mistrust you, you’re a loser. When you go to terrible lengths to hide who you are in order to appease these nasty people, it’s even worse. When you actively promote their hate through legislation that will make your life (and the lives of other gays) worse so that you can continue to hide who you are in order to appease these nasty people, it’s really bad.

This ‘I just want to represent my constituents’ dodge is bullshit — who would run for office just to represent people that would ruin your life? These Republicans are insane.

You can’t find an actual problem with CPAC? You’ve got to be blind:

CPAC Speaker Bashes Obama, in Racial Tones
By KATE ZERNIKE

How can conservatives win the youth vote that overwhelmingly went for Barack Obama in 2008? At the Conservative Political Action Conference, apparently, some are betting on using racial stereotypes.

. . He then mocked what he described, with a Chris Rock voice, as “diversity,” including, he said, college classes on “cyber feminism” and “what it means to be a feminist new black man.”

Describing the latter, he said: “Think of a crossover between RuPaul and Barney Frank.”

He described his book, to be published by Simon & Schuster, as an effort to create “a movement designed to capture and educate freedom-loving young people everywhere.” Offering up a slogan, he adopted the Chris Rock voice again: “Get your government off my freedom!”

Can we save our generation from Obama zombies, he asked. He answered himself by borrowing the president’s campaign slogan: “Yes, my brothahs and sistahs. Yes we can!”

Bullshit. Watch:

Oh, wait–RAINBOWS . . .

. . . oooh . . .

Errr . . . hmm. I only know this: Ann Coulter’s thoroughly defeated me, I can tell you. I don’t even know where to begin . . .

[insert commentary on Coulter's familiarity with either male anatomy or bombs]

[*sigh*...alright. The underwear bomber got on the plane with a roughly 6-inch packet of PETN, weighing about 80 grams. That's roughly the same as 32 pennies. But copper is far denser than a simple chemical, about 8 to 1 in this case. So if you just stuffed more than 250 penny-packets of TNT under your foreskin, you, sir, are the evilest rhino on all the savannah . . . ]