Talk about having your bad night, politically speaking.

Incumbent Arizona Governor Jan Brewer engaged Democratic candidate and Attorney General Terry Goddard in a debate Wednesday night. She began the evening by freezing like a deer in the television headlights when asked to recite a perfunctory, self-laudatory greeting. That alone is talk of the political world today: a gubernatorial candidate that couldn’t manage her own opening statement.

Perhaps she hadn’t done enough to embarrass herself.

During the debate, Goddard called on Brewer to recant a lie she had told, one meant to drive up the hysteria surrounding the evil immigrants and the destruction of her precious Arizona: they had been killing and beheading people out in the desert. Goddard correctly pointed out that it was absolutely false and that it made Arizona look like a haven for lurid violence. Brewer just ignored the call.

Until she got confronted by the press after the sorry event. Christina Boomer from ABC 15, among others, confronted her: Why haven’t you admitted the beheadings never happened? The press were in agreement — it’s not a trivial matter, do you really still believe the rumor to be true? Oops, now Brewer was stuck.

Or was she?

Naw, no problem.

Back in the old days, politicians were much more in agreement about things like this . . the public were always owed the truth. It was so universally embraced as a political tenet that even a single lie, especially left unaddressed, could easily and justifiably derail a candidacy. A politician’s scrupulous honesty might have been the one thing that both parties demanded from their people, with almost no exception.

Times have changed. Jan Brewer doesn’t owe you a thing.

Here comes the worst introduction to a debate by a major national politician I can remember.

Sure, all sorts of people, the mortals, will geek in the middle of a debate when they’re trying to recall certain facts, numbers and statistics. When an opponent attacks, sometimes you might frustratingly freeze while searching for the vital ammo you need to fight back. All the pressure, the lights, the cameras, the endless amounts of esoteric info — they take their toll.

But the intro?! Your own self-prepared statement?

She couldn’t manage “Hello, my name is Jan Brewer, and I fight for the people of Arizona”? Or “Arizona is a leader in business, technology and innovation”?

A professional politician can’t begin with anything better than this? . .

“I have, uh . . . . . . . . . . done so much, and I just cannot believe that we have changed everything since I be-ha-come your governor in the last 600 days. Arizona has been brought back from its abyss. We have cut the budget, we have balanced the budget, and we are moving forward. And we have done everything that we could possibly do . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . *laugh* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . We have, uh . . . . did what was right for Arizona. I will tell you that I have really did the very best that anyone could do. We have pushed back hard against the federal government, we have filed suit against Obama healthcare, and, and, we have passed Senate Bill 1070, and we will continue to do what’s right for Arizona. I ask for your vote, thank you.”

“I have really did the best that anyone can do”? That’s the person that will end up as Governor of Arizona? C’mon, being Governor is a very big deal — governorships are where Presidents are born. Governor Ronald Reagan, Governor Jimmy Carter, Governor Bill Clinton, Governor George W. Bush.

It’s one thing to end up in the office by default, but to be voted in by the citizens? Jan Brewer? Wow.

Islamophobia? Not really
By Jonah Goldberg | August 24, 2010

. . Americans who oppose what amounts to an Islamic Niketown two blocks from ground zero are the real victims of a climate of hate, and anti-Muslim backlash is mostly a myth . .

Really? The victims manage to carry on, the poor intrepid souls:

Fire At Tennessee Mosque Construction Site Now Under Federal Arson Investigation
08/29/10 09:20 PM | Associated Press

MURFREESBORO, Tenn. —. . . authorities told mosque officials that four pieces of heavy construction equipment on the site were doused with an accelerant and one set ablaze, said Camie Ayash, spokeswoman for the Islamic Center of Murfreesboro . .

. . and . .

Student Arraigned in Anti-Muslim Stabbing of Cabdriver
August 25, 2010, 12:34 PM | New York Times

. . Mr. Enright asked the taxi driver, who was from Bangladesh, whether he was Muslim, Mr. Zaleta said. After the driver said he was, Mr. Enright responded with the Arabic greeting, “Assalamu alaikum,” according to the criminal court complaint.

Then Mr. Enright said, “Consider this a checkpoint,” before pulling out a Leatherman utility knife and slashing the taxi driver’s throat, Mr. Zaleta said. The driver turned and Mr. Enright slashed him in his face and forearms, Mr. Zaleta said . .

. . and . .

Drunk shouts ‘terrorists,’ urinates on mosque rugs
updated 8/26/2010 12:29:09 PM ET | msnbc.com

NEW YORK — In the latest in a spate of anti-Muslim incidents over the last two days, an intoxicated man entered a mosque in Queens on Wednesday evening and proceeded to urinate on prayer rugs, New York police officials said.

The man, identified as Omar Rivera, reportedly shouted anti-Muslim epithets and called worshippers who had gathered for evening prayer “terrorists.” One witness told the New York Post the man was “very clearly intoxicated” and had a beer bottle in his hand at the time . .

. . and . .

Man Charged With Hate Crime For Allegedly Punching Turban-Wearing Store Clerk
August 31, 2010, 5:18PM | TPM Muckraker

A 35-year-old Seattle man has been charged with a hate crime for allegedly punching a 7-11 clerk in the head.

Police say Brock Stainbrook walked into the 7-11 just after midnight Aug. 24, approached a clerk wearing a turban, threw change on the floor and then punched the clerk in the side of the head.

“You’re not even American, you’re Al-Qaeda. Go back to your country,” he then said, according to police . .

Muslims are a fractionally small part of the U.S. population. Strange that so many high-profile violent and bigoted attacks would target them, considering their marginal presence. They’re having a mysteriously bad American Summer.

And so the In Some Proximity to Ground Zero Community Center and Swimming Pool protests continue, and I know what you’re thinking. Yeh, c’mon, I have no clue what you’re thinking, but just play along.

You’re thinking, ‘What does Jonah Goldberg think about all this?’ And this is where the rest of us say ‘GOOD ONE,’ and we tousle your hair a bit and buy you a couple of beers. Oh, you.

Islamophobia? Not really
The supposed anti-Muslim backlash among Americans is mostly a myth.
ByJonah Goldberg | August 24, 2010

I’m shocked — shocked! — that Jonah didn’t read the previous Tn’W entry where I posted a video of protesters closing in on a man who looked an awful lot like a Muslim.

Aside: What was that New York carpenter thinking? Looking like a Muslim? Just think if he’d actually been a Muslim, he could have caused an unsightly scene.

Nor did Jonah read Newt Gingrich’s comments equating American Muslims to thoughtless WWII Nazis and Japanese soldiers. The backlash ain’t no myth.

Nonetheless, there Jonah goes . .

Here’s a thought: The 70% of Americans who oppose what amounts to an Islamic Niketown two blocks from ground zero are the real victims of a climate of hate, and anti-Muslim backlash is mostly a myth . .

Hoo BOY. Two wholly crazy ideas piled on top of each other. It’s the ‘Americans who oppose’ the community center who ‘are the real victims of a cliimate of hate.’

When the New York bigots are called ‘bigots,’ it’s a sad day in America. Pity those islander rank and file with an honest, hate-felt opinion. Pity a startled but soldiering truth-teller, for America, Dick Morris:

He grew up rich, ultra-Conservative and ultra-Christian. He became a Navy Seal. He later founded the world’s most powerful para-military for hire, Blackwater. He became a friend of the Bush administration and raked in better than a billion dollars in contracts over 10 years.

He’s Erik Prince, and he’s tired of America and its bitching and complaining about his homicidal, gun-running company, and he’s getting out. Going to live in that shining city on a hill, Some Arab Capital:

Blackwater Founder Moves to Abu Dhabi, Records Say
By JAMES RISEN | Published: August 17, 2010

WASHINGTON — Erik Prince, whose company, Blackwater Worldwide, is for sale and whose former top managers are facing criminal charges, has left the United States and moved to Abu Dhabi, according to court documents . .

Current and former colleagues said Mr. Prince hoped to focus on security work from governments in Africa and the Middle East. They also said he was bitter about the legal scrutiny and negative publicity his company had received.

Mr. Prince does not face any criminal charges, but five former top company executives have been indicted on federal weapons, conspiracy and obstruction charges. Two guards who worked for a Blackwater-affiliated company face murder charges from a 2009 shooting in Afghanistan, and the Justice Department is trying to revive its prosecution of five former Blackwater guards accused of killing 17 Iraqi civilians in 2007.

Yes, that’s what a great patriot does, hides in the United Arab Emirates. Because they hold traditional American values dear: democracy, freedom, and fair play. OR, more likely, ‘Your money’s good here.’ And ‘No extradition.’

Erik’s traditional values?

Erik Prince talks values, defends Blackwater at Tulip Time lunch
By PETER DAINING | Posted May 05, 2010 @ 04:10 PM

Erik Prince told a sold-out Tulip Time lunch crowd that the worth of a warrior is not best defined by his deeds, but by his enemies. The founder of Blackwater and Holland native described his own enemies as Al-Qaeda, the Taliban and “noisy leftists.” . .

Prince decried Washington and its excessive government spending. He did not mention that Blackwater — now called Xe — was the beneficiary of government contracts worth more than $1 billion, many awarded without competitive bidding . .

But he also addressed his youth, saying he walked in Tulip Time parades every year from fourth grade through high school. He went to the Naval Academy, but eventually dropped out; he called the school too liberal. “As liberal as some universities may be, imagine one run by the federal government,” he said . .

Right Wing News blog took it upon themselves last week to poll 100 bloggers from over 40 Conservative sites about American History. ‘Who were the worst Americans of all time?’ they asked. Considering all the warmongers, murderers and rapists we’ve spawned, it might have been a difficult list to compose.

But it rarely pays to overestimate the depth of right-wingers: they made it look easy. The top three slots ended up being American presidents. Democrats, of course.

Above your Benedict Arnolds, Lee Harvey Oswalds and Alger Hisses, the wingnuts put FDR, Barack Obama and — number one — Jimmy Carter as the worst Americans who ever blighted planet Earth.

This did not go well with a lot of folks. Stupefying density rarely does. I mocked the sad little list here. Then I made a mental note to write a few words on the obvious criminals the fools omitted, and then spent all weekend on a lengthy (now annoying) piece I’m putting together on an especially curious right-wing hero (maybe later, if I don’t just chuck it and get on with my life).

So I went back to the original list for this post, but — oops — the post had been deleted. I can’t imagine how pissed off all the college-educated Republicans who jumped onto the lengthy thread must feel. From the definitive pronouncements of web maestros on history’s national disgraces to a vacant webpage. In a matter of a couple days. How sad.

Well, thanks to Google’s cache-ing, this Gem of Historical Analysis, it is not lost. It’s there above, right. You will notice how Conserva-storians, between Richard Nixon and John Wilkes Booth, crammed Jane Fonda, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi. Will anybody remember Pelosi’s name even 10 years from now? Why, yes they will, because she is so very evil. I can’t find Harry Reid’s name in my “Lions of State” rolodex, right now, this moment, as I keep looking back at the list to remind myself, but Senator Kittyclaws has raked a charcoal trough across America. Jane Fonda chokes America’s neck with a surprisingly sturdy and stylish scarf as we speak.

Which brings us to this: How could 100 Americans of any stripe not consider these people?

–Lee Harvey Oswald
–James Earl Ray
–John Hinckley (!)
–Charles Guiteau
–Leon Czolgosz
–Aaron Burr
–Spies like Jonathan Pollard and Robert Hanssen.
–Criminals and gangsters like Jesse James, Al Capone, and Lucky Luciano.
–Serial killers like Ted Bundy and John Wayne Gacy.
–Serial child molesters like Father John Geoghan and Dean Schwartzmiller.
–Sociopaths like Ted Kaczynski, John Muhammad and Lee Malvo.
–Spree shooters like James Huberty, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris.

That’s a robust list of evil people. How did the wingnuts miss all that? Heaven knows.

However, there are two more people that I would nominate. Why these guys didn’t end up on the original, I think, is a little more obvious: these guys are their kinda guys. These two men are still heroes to plenty of the American right wing:

–Joseph McCarthy. A demagogue and political hack first, last and always. Lied about his World War II record to look good to voters. Said he’d flown dozens of missions though he’d flown 12, said he got wounded in battle when it was just a hazing incident, personally forged a ‘letter of commendation’ from Admiral Nimitz. Exploited Cold War hysteria by claiming he had a list of 200 (or 50 or 80) commies in the State Department. Never managed to prove a single one was, in fact, a Soviet plant. Created an atmosphere corrosive and paranoid, and it broke out of the Capitol and ran across the nation. Encouraged Americans to suspect their neighbors and co-workers, changing American life for the worse. Forced innocent people to testify in public hearings seen by millions, upended or ruined scores of careers. Accused anyone who opposed him or his methods, including Edward R. Murrow, of also being Communist. After 4 years of madness, the nation returned to its senses and came to despise the Wisconsin senator. He drank himself to death in less than another 4 years. Right-wingers like to claim he was right about the commies — several reports out of the former USSR showed there may have been 10 or more of his ‘names’ that were colluding with the Soviets. What they fail to realize is that McCarthy almost single-handedly destroyed America’s ability to figure that out. Unchecked rage and paranoia destroy perception and rational thought. ‘McCarthyism’ is still a poisonous pejorative to this day.

–Nathan Bedford Forrest. An unqualified military genius of the Civil War, revolutionizing cavalry tactics and strategy. Brave to the point of crazy. May have been built for war: when only twenty, killed two men and knifed two more in an act of blood revenge. Became a millionaire before the age of forty relying on two things: cotton farming, which the slaves did, and the buying and selling of commodities — his slaves. Joined the Confederacy, killed 30 men during the War. Refused to accept the surrender of dozens of mostly black Union soldiers at Fort Pillow, resulting in a massacre. While even letters from his soldiers bore the massacre’s fact out, he refused to acknowledge it, to his death. After the War, became the first Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, legitimizing America’s greatest and longest-lived terrorist organization. Stripped of his slaves, unable to continue his previous businesses, he ran a railroad and bankrupted it. Ran a prison. Became a great hero to the South after his death, spawning Forrest City, Arkansas, Forrest County, Mississippi, Nathan Bedford Forrest State Park in Tennessee, and the state’s naming July 13 “Nathan Bedford Forrest Day.” A bust of Nathan sits in the Tennessee State Capitol to this day. He’s an emblem of the sweet and sour nature of the memories of the Civil War and the South’s still wounded pride: a great warrior, but a horribly flawed American. Tennessee chooses to embrace Nathan as a “Defender of the South.” He defended a helluva lot more than that.

If you aren’t familiar with the inner workings of cuckoo clocks, well, here’s your chance. No need for the coke bottle specs, these boing-ed springs and toothless gears merely lie around, here on the internetz.

Here’s the question: who are or were the worst Americans? Like Hitler, for Germany. The USSR’s Stalin. Rome’s Caligula, Romania’s Vlad the Impaler. Nancy’s Spike, Tommy’s wicked Uncle Ernie: yuck.

Who are our worst citizens? Well, wouldn’t we like to know? Especially when the undisputed Top Guns of American History — CONSERVATIVE BLOGGERS — are the judges? Hell, yeah, I’d like to know because I could always use a good laugh.

Right Wing News did the polling:

Conservative Bloggers Select The 25 Worst Figures In American History
August 13, 2010

Out of all the gangsters, serial killers, mass murderers, incompetent & crooked politicians, spies, traitors, and ultra left-wing kooks in all of American history — have you ever wondered who the worst of the worst was? Well, we here at RWN wondered about that, too, and that’s why we decided to email more than a hundred bloggers to get their opinions.

Did and done.

Okay, ready for some highlights? Here we go:

–Number 23: Hillary Clinton. Former First Lady and Senator from New York. Current U.S. Secretary of State. What damage has she done to the United States? Not sure. The White House and the state of New York seem to have recovered. Maybe she’s doing something awful right now? Maybe we should scan the news.

–Number 19: Michael Moore. Moviemaker. He makes movies. Popular movies.

–Number 13 (tie): Richard Nixon. Illegally bombed Cambodia (ushering in the Khmer Rouge), refused to end Johnson’s deadly war (until later), carried out Kissinger’s literally mega-murderous Central and South American foreign policies, broke into the Democratic national headquarters to steal an election, broke into the office of the psychologist of a political enemy to destroy him, conspired to cover up multiple crimes, fired the special prosecutor looking into the allegations, generally subverted the government for political gain. Lied to the American people without end or shame. Destroyed Americans’ faith in government. Resigned in disgrace.

–Number 13 (tie): Nancy Pelosi. First female Speaker of the House, serving 3 years and 7 months. Sought to pass Democratic legislation. Seeks to pass Democratic legislation.

–Number 11: John Wilkes Booth. Giant Wingnut. Assassinated probably the greatest American in history, the Great Emancipator, the man who saved the union, Abraham Lincoln. Threw American politics into disarray, leading to the impeachment of Andrew Johnson and the disastrous, thoroughly corrupted Presidency of U.S. Grant.

–Number 9: Timothy McVeigh. Not just America’s Worst Terrorist, one of the world’s worst terrorists. 168 dead, including 19 children.

–Number 7: Lyndon Johnson. Vietnam. And Vietnam and Vietnam. Used an imaginary skirmish, the Gulf of Tonkin incident, to start a war. 57,000 Americans dead, maybe as many as 2,000,000 Vietnamese in addition. Aaaaaannnnnd . . . cut! The Civil Rights Act of 1964? The Voting Rights Act of 1965? The WAR ON POVERTY!?!? AAAUUGGHH!

–Number 4: Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. American Commies. Spies. Well, Julius was. Passed on nuclear secrets to the Soviets. Probably. Both executed.

–Number 2: Barack Obama. U.S. President from January of last year to the present, 19 months. Umm . . healthcare reform? Nobel Peace Prize? The War in — oh, he didn’t start that. The War in — nope, not that one either. The Great Recession? Nopey nope. Yes, he’s got to be the second worst American in over two centuries. Still, he’s no . .

–Number 1: Jimmy Carter. Another of the Nobel committee’s devils. Evil incarnate. The Simpsons encapsulated the neon nightmare of pestilence and plague that Carter wrought upon the nation with these two words: Malaise Forever. His most disastrous policy would be . . ? I’m drawing a blank on Carter policies. Any of his policies. The whackos executed Ethel Rosenberg, just think of what they’d like to do to Jimmy. Better sneak up on him, Lucifer Himself is often swinging a hammer putting up houses for the poor.

Well, there you have it. And Good Golly.

But they seem to have skipped over quite a few thoroughly detestable Americans. Many of the Conservative ilk, perhaps? Don’t ya think? I do. More later.

Bhruic 3 hours ago

John Wilkes Booth as one of the worst Americans? His only mistake was that he was 4 years late.
—————————————————————————-

Gbvic 2 hours ago in reply to Bhruic

ahmen brother.
————————————–

Bildo 3 hours ago in reply to Bhruic

Liberal troll?
————————————–

Bhruic 2 hours ago in reply to Bildo

Classical liberal? Sure. Troll? Not so much.
Abe was less faithful to the constitution than any other president in American history. He is responsible for the deaths of a few hundred thousand human beings because he wanted to collect tariffs from southern ports, not to free the slaves. Lincoln was a tyrant that has been deified by revisionist historians.

Yes, they do, if this post from TPM is remotely accurate, which it is.

Conservapedia is ostensibly the right-wing answer to the internet institution Wikipedia. I’ve written about it several times previously at another site, now defunct.

It’s a hilarious place, a great way to spend a free 10 or 20 minutes looking up your favorite controversial subject to read nearly illiterate opinion masquerading as encyclopedic knowledge.

Currently on the front page:

So, you can see the level of discourse. TPM came across a particularly hilarious attack on the science left behind by notorious moonbat Albert Einstein. He is currently held in high regard in scientific circles. And elsewhere.

Conservapedia: E=mc2 Is A Liberal Conspiracy
Megan Carpentier | August 9, 2010, 5:01PM

. . If you’re behind on your physics, the Theory of Relativity was Albert Einstein’s formulation in the early 20th century that gave rise to the famous theorum that E=mc2, otherwise stated as energy is equal to mass times the square of the speed of light. Why does Andy Schlafly hate the theory of relativity? We’re pretty sure it’s because he’s decided it doesn’t square with the Bible.

In the entry, “Counterexamples to Relativity,” the authors (including Schlafly) write:

“The theory of relativity is a mathematical system that allows no exceptions. It is heavily promoted by liberals who like its encouragement of relativism and its tendency to mislead people in how they view the world.”

Really? Yes, really. Here’s the following line, that TPM skipped:

Here is a list of 24 counterexamples: any one of them shows that the theory is incorrect.

Really! Any one of them blows Relativity out of the water. Took decades before the shocking theories (there’s actually two of them) became widely accepted by physicists. But Conservapedia wiped the entirety of Einstein’s work out with a mere couple of webpages.

8. The action-at-a-distance of quantum entanglement.
9. The action-at-a-distance by Jesus, described in John 4:46-54.

Convinced yet?

18. The lack of a single useful device developed based on any insights provided by the theory; no lives have been saved or helped, and the theory has not led to other useful theories and may have interfered with scientific progress. This stands in stark contrast with every verified theory of science. The only device based on relativity is the atom bomb, but that has destroyed far more lives than it’s saved so it can hardly be considered useful.

Well, that’s not a counter-example, is it? In fact, The Bomb continues to function frighteningly well, bearing out Einstein’s work. They seemed to have missed that point. Other times, they seem to want to borrow Al’s science, when it helps their cause:

Time Dilation and Creation Science

Creation scientists such as physicists Dr. Russell Humphreys and Dr. John Hartnett have used relativistic time dilation to explain how the earth can be only 6,000 years old even though cosmological data (background radiation, supernovae, etc.) set a much older age for the universe.

It’s a bit confusing.

The Grand Old Heifer of Fatuous Anti-Feminism still lives and breathes, let the Lord not end her days mercifully soon, turning her into patties and handbags. For she still continues to manufacture a milk of human blindness by the teat-full.

And isn’t that the refreshing bracer of misanthropic pesticide and poison a good Conservative can’t swallow fast enough? To soon puke it upon a passerby? Why, yes, it is. God bless the dairy farmers of hate and their blackened, burning fingers.

This post started out simply enough: Andrew ‘Rocky’ Raczkowski is running for a congress seat that represents Oakland County, Michigan. Phyllis Schlafly turned up at a fundraiser for Rocky (he was away) and did her usual crowd-pleasing schtick: routine petty stupidity and glorious self-hate.

Conservative’s comments spark Raczkowski protest
Published: Thursday, July 29, 2010 | By GABI JAYE

. . During her speech at a Saturday fundraiser at the American Polish Cultural Center in Troy for Oakland County congressional candidate Andrew “Rocky” Raczkowski, Schlafly compared unmarried women to welfare recipients.

The conservative commentator is under fire from many women’s rights groups for her comments.

“Seventy percent of unmarried women voted for Obama,” Schlafly said in her speech. “And this is because when you kick your husband out, you gotta have Big Brother government to be your provider.”

Ha. That’s so pathetic a shot at women, it’s hysterical. That sort of thing was barely worth a response in the late nineties. Phyllis ain’t just olde, she’s very sadde. Which makes her a great target! Let’s make fun of ol’ Towers Over the Oaken Bucket, shall we?

Husband dumpers? Hot for a government hand-out? What happened to the cerca 1992 Dan Quayle-flogged paranoia over Murphy Brown, the unmarried pregnant Hollywood role model? How’s the memory, Phyllis — been chewing on any of your formerly pasture-ized buddies? Mad Cow Disease? Quick — spell ‘Potato brain.’ HAR!

And all those newly-minted single mothers courtesy of your esteemed widow-maker wars and great buddy George W. Bush — they’re just shiftless welfare troughers? OOPS. They’re only looking to the government to provide for them? Yeah, that would be the right thing to do, given their husbands, their children’s fathers and likely more than half their working incomes are permanently dead. Go on and call them Big Government Parasites, good idea.

You’re rollin’, Phyllis. Mooooore, please:

Schlafly has been the source of controversial comments in the past as well. In a March 2007 speech at Bates College, she made remarks about married women claiming they were raped by their husbands.

“By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don’t think you can call it rape,” Schlafly said then.

It’s ‘free milk’ now, ain’t that right Phillie? YEEEEHAAWWW, let’s go back to making it legal and proper. Hubby wakes up, rigid, in the middle of the night — he gets to cram it in the nearest orifice. Exalted Marriage! Cuuuuuue de muuuuuusic . .

Doo-bee-doooooooooo. Freedom of the individual? Human rights? The Constitution? They’re all subservient to the vaunted marriage covenant! HOORAY! Here’s cud in your eye!

In a 2006 interview with the New York Times, she said time-saving improvements in women’s lives are due to indoor clothes dryers and disposable diapers.

And you do remember, of course, what made the indoor clothes dryer possible? The invention of the DOOR.

Phyllis remembers it like it was yesterday. Because a bovine’s blank-faced grasp of time dwarfs their appreciation for romance:

Totally reasonable website offering Roger’s ‘You know, it just now came to me that Liberals are assholes . . ‘ analysis of politics, Pajamas Media, lands on a jarring conclusion about who’s responsible for the violent recession-plague destroying our blameless nation, America:

Yeah, thanks a lot you bastards. You Obamadorks inherited the greatest, richest, most prosperous nation on Earth, ever, also, and now we can’t even afford cable.

In contrast, George W. Bush inherited an Ethiopan slum:

President Clinton announces another record budget surplus
September 27, 2000
Web posted at: 4:51 p.m. EDT (2051 GMT)

WASHINGTON (CNN) — President Clinton announced Wednesday that the federal budget surplus for fiscal year 2000 amounted to at least $230 billion, making it the largest in U.S. history and topping last year’s record surplus of $122.7 billion.

. . In June, the administration predicted the surplus would be $211 billion, and would increase by as much as $1 trillion over the next 10 years.

“The key to fiscal discipline is maintaining these results year after year. We need to put our priorities in order,” Clinton said.

SHEESH. Who the fuck can operate a fiscally responsible limited government anti-commie tiny-statist disciplined trickle-down government under those devastating and impoverished conditions? Any Republican President so hobbled, just like every Republican President, would have to run nuclear deficits — bigger than every President before him, combined:

Bush came into office with an advantage few presidents have enjoyed — a $230 billion surplus. But due to a $1.35 trillion tax cut in 2001, a $1.5 trillion tax cut in 2003, and a massive defense buildup through the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, Bush quickly blew through that surplus . . After the financial crisis emerged last fall and the ensuing bailouts, Bush’s budget deficit ballooned to over $1 trillion.

To wit, Roger Kimball and his decimation of the Obama administration’s foolish attempt to change Bush’s triumphant cultural engagement and fiscal policies:

It’s all part of your effort to “fundamentally transform the Untied States of America,” isn’t it, Mr. President? That’s what you promised in October 2008: to change America fundamentally. Who would have predicted you were really serious? (Well, some of us did, but you know what I mean.)

You’ve made it clear that, deep down, you really don’t like the United States. In that, you are like many of your Ivy confrères, all those Harvard-Yale-Princeton types who find the spectacle of individual freedom playing itself out irredeemably vulgar.

Yes, Roger. Yes! The naked, vulgar individual, the reckless dumbfuck George W. Bush, whom you disastrously cheered, who, in the most lurid, most spectacular manner, destroyed the fiscal future of the pre-eminently powerful country in the modern world, should never have been free to play out his national fantasies.

DUH. The Great Recession? Any of it materialized in your crystal ball, soothsayer? Spied any of it, eagle eye? Good lord, man, have you only been huffing ether? Slugging methanol? Gingering acid on your oatmeal Wheaties? What sort of short-sighted clown are you?

(. . as is . . — ed.)

Well, the elected and powerful have officially joined the Tea Party. ‘Officially joined’, here, means the new faithful called a press conference last Wednesday to announce a list of House members that have joined the shiny new Tea Party Caucus.

Minnesota’s greatest, Michele Bachmann, and several other patriotic congressmen held a presser today announcing the launch of the House Tea Party Caucus! Her office also released a list of inaugural members — some of whom didn’t know they’d signed up.

Oops. Tea Partiers hazy in the head? I mean, err, huzzahs! I’m sure they’ll be blazing bold new paths and breaking down barriers unilaterally because this is some radical new political shit, indeed. You cannot box this sort of lightning, no sir, not this ball of fire.

Tea Party Caucus members endorse Israeli attack on Iran
Posted By Josh Rogin | Monday, July 26, 2010 – 2:30 PM

Now that the congressional supporters of the Tea Party movement have formed their own caucus, their policy positions are becoming easier to track. Expanding their foray into foreign policy, 21 members of the new caucus have now come out explicitly endorsing Israel’s right to strike Iran’s nuclear program.

Aww, fuck. Ball of Fiery Armageddon, anyone? So much for all that “The government’s out of control!!” And “It won’t listen to the people!!” Now, for the Bachmann Tea Party, it’s “The government needs to start a World War!!” And “It’ll totally be worth another trillion of your hard-earned tax dollars!!”

Almost two dozen Tea Party-affiliated lawmakers cosponsored a new resolution late last week that expresses their support for Israel “to use all means necessary to confront and eliminate nuclear threats posed by the Islamic Republic of Iran, including the use of military force.”

That’s great. I’m sure that while Israel launches a massive airstrike against Iran, and the Tea Party Caucus are all excitedly jumping up and down, creaming in their shorts, they’ll also be inventing all sorts of clever strategies to sidestep being sucked into a Middle East conflagration.

Unless, you know, the new House version of the DIVERSE TEA PARTY is merely made up of hysterical far right-wing Republicans. Because those guys would likely happily march thousands of Americans into the maw of Looks Like The Apocalypse in defense of Israel. And isn’t that very minimally governmental? Doesn’t that reek of fiscal responsibility? Isn’t that deeply respectful of individual freedoms?

Well, lookee — here’s a list of those freshly minted Tea Party rebels, and, yes, it’s the usual assholes. Founder Batshit Bachmann loved the trillion dollar wars and George W. Bush so much, she couldn’t stop kissing and hugging the chicken hawk budget buster.

Steve King never met a war he wouldn’t fund but was one of only 11 congress people to vote against the $52 billion in aid appropriated after Hurricane Katrina. Pete Hoekstra called a press conference in 2006 to claim the Iraqi weapons of mass destruction — voila — had been found. Moron. Pete Sessions voted for the Iraq War and for that Tea Party vat of cyanide, The Bailout, but just opposed a few billion bucks for unemployment benefits in the middle of the Great Recession. Paul Broun opposed healthcare reform so vigorously — which will save us money — that he said Socialists “don’t have the appreciation of life as we do in our society, evidently.”

Right, Paul. Very right-wing, the lot of you. You’re not co-opters of a popular and ill-defined movement merely to get back in power. No, you just care about life and freedoms and responsible public service, so go ahead and vow you’ve always been about limited government. And do that while you want credit for the ‘win’ produced by wasting 100,000-plus lives and a trillion dollars in that unintrusive government program you concocted the last time you ran the show: The War in Iraq.

Hold your church’s millenia-old beliefs at your own risk?

University of Illinois Instructor Fired Over Catholic Beliefs
Published July 09, 2010

URBANA, Ill. — The University of Illinois has fired an adjunct professor who taught courses on Catholicism after a student accused the instructor of engaging in hate speech by saying he agrees with the church’s teaching that homosexual sex is immoral . .

Howell, who taught Introduction to Catholicism and Modern Catholic Thought, says he was fired at the end of the spring semester after sending an e-mail explaining some Catholic beliefs to his students preparing for an exam.

“Natural Moral Law says that Morality must be a response to REALITY,” he wrote in the e-mail. “In other words, sexual acts are only appropriate for people who are complementary, not the same.”

An unidentified student sent an e-mail to religion department head Robert McKim on May 13, calling Howell’s e-mail “hate speech.” The student claimed to be a friend of the offended student. The writer said in the e-mail that his friend wanted to remain anonymous.

“Teaching a student about the tenets of a religion is one thing,” the student wrote. “Declaring that homosexual acts violate the natural laws of man is another.”

This is a tough call. On its face, the professor’s case seems like a reasonable one: if he makes it clear that he’s airing his beliefs, then what’s the harm? It’s a venerated tradition in university settings to allow personal views to be expressed without them limiting or defining the intellectual discussion. In a best case scenario, one’s personal feelings can be ultimately changed by a decent battle of ideas. One realm is considered to be both bigger and more rigorous than the other.

But then intellectual arguments can be slippery. Your position can change pretty quickly depending upon the day, the arguers and the facts on hand at the time. Your beliefs are much more likely to be solid and un-changing.

So I can understand that a gay man would take offense at hearing that his professor believed him to be ‘immoral’ in both the religious and natural sense. You can’t imagine a professor saying the same thing about someone who happened to be black. Even if it’s only his silly belief, even if it’s merely (ostensibly) in a classroom discussion, it’s probably shocking and painful to hear.

So, how did we get to this unfortunate place, where a professor’s routine (for many Catholics) beliefs ended up getting him fired? It sounds like some sort of law has been broken, doesn’t it?

It’s because this particular religious belief is dangerously out of step with modern thinking and understanding. Specifically, religious folks who damn what appear to be a group of behaviors, homosexuality, are actually damning a whole group of people. It’s tantamount to hate speech.

Even if it’s a sacred part of your religion, why should society tolerate this? Calling murder, or incest, or even theft a sin is a valuable tenet from society’s point of view: these behaviors cause damage to people. Society seeks to prevent and punish such things.

But the key difference that swings the religious view to publicly intolerable is that homosexuality is no crime: there’s no victim by definition in a routine, consensual homosexual act. In a civilized society, two adults certainly should be able to engage in this manner without condemnation or harassment. Or being barred from society’s benefits, or barred from work, or their animal persecutors being barred from prosecutions and imprisonment.

Especially when, as we are aware now, homosexuals appear to be born homosexual. It is almost always the case that a gay person will tell you that they have no recollection of ever being any different. I have no reason to doubt them. And any intention to disregard these memories because one prefers to view the reporters as morally flawed is a callow one.

Homosexuals are simply born gay, there’s no debate on this any more. So, when you call their behavior — natural behavior — unnatural or immoral or evil, it’s not just factually wrong, it’s an egregious act. You can try to hide behind whatever you like, but the net result is the same: it’s particularly uncivilized speech. You’re harming society. Period.

Thus, a college professor gets fired. Understandably, fired.

There was a time, centuries ago, when religion led society as a moralizing, civilizing power. It taught people to obey the rules, to respect life, to love one another and to get along when little was known of the natural world, or the people in the next hamlet, or county, or country. The secular world wasn’t quick to learn, but there’s no denying that religion worked as perhaps the only major institution to enlighten it.

Now, it seems as if the roles have reversed: it’s society which seeks to drag religion into the new world. I see no reason to be shy about expanding secularism’s role here as long as we can agree that it’s not anything to be taken lightly. The facts that homosexuality has always been and always will be part of humans’ existence, is a naturally occurring expression of sexuality and is a positive, not remotely criminal, way of behaving are damning of religion’s moribund or alabaster responses to the discovery of truths. If religions now refuse to honestly accept or discuss man’s essential worldly and spiritual characteristics, then we’ll be forced to shift the heeding of voices wholly into the public, secular realm.

This discourse, absent of ancient religious dogma, then becomes more than a cosmopolitan exercise, it becomes critically important for us to function in a meaningful way. It carries a bigger, more universal responsibility than it once did. And maybe it’s time that it should — do we really need to indulge people who believe that “sexual acts are only appropriate for people who are complementary, not the same”? That’s an argument conspiratorially stupid, one that any decent high-schooler would shred in mere seconds. For someone like me, with a background in Genetics, it’s a howler.

Well, then, what should the poor professor have done? After all, they’re only his personal beliefs, right? Yes — but his beliefs are insulting to civilized society. Sounds bad, but that’s because it is bad. Iron-clad religion can be very bad for us, and that’s a truth we’ve got to openly admit to if we’re to do right by our fellow man. If we’re to do more than pretend to make a moral world for everyone to exist in, we’re demanded to say it.

A wise professor might wonder if stating his beliefs, though they be held dear, amounts to categorically abominating a blameless fellow man. Society only increasingly sees this as anachronistic bigotry. I’ll ask that he refrain from it at the University, or at any other public place.