Feew bad fowe Meg:

I Wuz Wrong
AUG 27 2010, 11:52 AM ET
The Atlantic

Tyler Cowen and Brad DeLong are fessing up. It’s a Friday in August, with nothing to report but the dismal GDP figures we were all expecting. So I’ll start with the Iraq War:

Meg is bowed. I hate being bowed.

1) I erroneously believed that I could interpret the actions of Saddam Hussein. He seemed to be acting like I’d act if I had WMD. Whoops!

Whoops!

. . I wasn’t an Iraqi dictator, which left huge gaps in my mental model of Hussein.

None of us wuz bad owe Saddam. Yet a howe bunch of us said “No! Don’t go! Peopowe wiw die.”

2) I erroneously extrapolated the experience of World War II to Iraq. This took several forms:

Wuzn’t dat a wong, wong time ago? And wuzn’t it mostowy Sawdi Awabians dat sneak attacked us at Peaw Hawbow? Whoops!

a) I overlooked the fact that Japan and Germany were both stable bourgeois nations with solid industrial bases long before we got into the act.

Wuzn’t Veewetnam in duwh Sixties? And Seventies?

b) I overlooked the fact that we completely destroyed this nations before occupying and reconstructing them.

‘. . this nations’? Whoops! And isn’t dat onwy two? Not ‘several’?
Wet’s see: a) . . and . . b). Whoops!

3) I was insufficiently empathetic in imagining how Iraqis would feel about our invasion.

You should hab twied to get fuwthew inside Iwaqis’ heads. Like Saddam Hussein — what wuz HE dinking? Oh — whoops! Whoops!

We liked the French for giving us military help during the Revolution. Now imagine that France had invaded in order to liberate us from the British. Even if they really did eventually leave, this would have had much worse results. Looking back, my confi-dence in our liberatory powers seems terribly callous, and it doesn’t really do the dead Iraqis much good that I’m sorry for it.

Meg’s owdew now, smawtew now. Vewy matchew.

Isn’t that Dr. Laura a wise woman? Yes, she is — just listen:

You can feel her intelligence oozing out of the radio. Can’t you?

Wow. You know who else is real, real smart? Sarah Palin:

Thx 2 Sareh 4 de wurdz. Sure — do it again, Doctor N-Bomb:

. . now u, GuVern3r:

. . shackles of civility. More of this, please, without the pointless sensitivity:

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you.

Blogger Ace of Spades dishes out his compliments and insults in his own thoroughly imitable style.

Seeing a wince-ingly bad clip by pro-choice group Emily’s List, designed to score some political points at Sarah Palin’s expense, Ace realizes what political issue is suddenly at hand. It’s not about Mama Grizzlies, or the role of government or somebody’s presidential aspirations dressed as demagoguery, naw.

This is just politics about women. Y’know — how they are.

Top Ten Problems With Emily List’s Ewok Ad

10. Too much boo-hoo, not enough yub-yub

9. Silly costumes sort of remind people that these women have to play dress up to be Mama Grizzlies, doesn’t it?

8. One time seeing furries yiffing and scritching in a fur-pile on CSI was plenty for me

7. If Sarah Palin’s so dumb and silly, why is it you who are dressed up in the bear costumes?

Fair enough.

6. Video confirms age-old stereotypes that liberal women are nothing but half-witted scruffy-looking nerf-herders

Under the makeup, inside of the bear costumes? You can’t see but about 2% of them, but they’re all so ugly. I hate ugly women.

4. I can only imagine “what’s cookin’” underneath all that latex and wool… I’m thinkin’ these women must smell like Brian Dennehy’s taint’s gym socks

I hate smelly women.

…and the number one problem with Emily’s List Ewok ad…

1. Wicket just emailed me to say only one was worth “nutting on”

When a woman isn’t worth nutting on, that is a problem. By contrast, Sarah Palin is totally worth nutting on, probably worth nutting on her face. That’s why she’s worth watching on TV or worth listening to, even with the screech screech and the blah blah. You know what I mean, right?

Right Wing News blog took it upon themselves last week to poll 100 bloggers from over 40 Conservative sites about American History. ‘Who were the worst Americans of all time?’ they asked. Considering all the warmongers, murderers and rapists we’ve spawned, it might have been a difficult list to compose.

But it rarely pays to overestimate the depth of right-wingers: they made it look easy. The top three slots ended up being American presidents. Democrats, of course.

Above your Benedict Arnolds, Lee Harvey Oswalds and Alger Hisses, the wingnuts put FDR, Barack Obama and — number one — Jimmy Carter as the worst Americans who ever blighted planet Earth.

This did not go well with a lot of folks. Stupefying density rarely does. I mocked the sad little list here. Then I made a mental note to write a few words on the obvious criminals the fools omitted, and then spent all weekend on a lengthy (now annoying) piece I’m putting together on an especially curious right-wing hero (maybe later, if I don’t just chuck it and get on with my life).

So I went back to the original list for this post, but — oops — the post had been deleted. I can’t imagine how pissed off all the college-educated Republicans who jumped onto the lengthy thread must feel. From the definitive pronouncements of web maestros on history’s national disgraces to a vacant webpage. In a matter of a couple days. How sad.

Well, thanks to Google’s cache-ing, this Gem of Historical Analysis, it is not lost. It’s there above, right. You will notice how Conserva-storians, between Richard Nixon and John Wilkes Booth, crammed Jane Fonda, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi. Will anybody remember Pelosi’s name even 10 years from now? Why, yes they will, because she is so very evil. I can’t find Harry Reid’s name in my “Lions of State” rolodex, right now, this moment, as I keep looking back at the list to remind myself, but Senator Kittyclaws has raked a charcoal trough across America. Jane Fonda chokes America’s neck with a surprisingly sturdy and stylish scarf as we speak.

Which brings us to this: How could 100 Americans of any stripe not consider these people?

–Lee Harvey Oswald
–James Earl Ray
–John Hinckley (!)
–Charles Guiteau
–Leon Czolgosz
–Aaron Burr
–Spies like Jonathan Pollard and Robert Hanssen.
–Criminals and gangsters like Jesse James, Al Capone, and Lucky Luciano.
–Serial killers like Ted Bundy and John Wayne Gacy.
–Serial child molesters like Father John Geoghan and Dean Schwartzmiller.
–Sociopaths like Ted Kaczynski, John Muhammad and Lee Malvo.
–Spree shooters like James Huberty, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris.

That’s a robust list of evil people. How did the wingnuts miss all that? Heaven knows.

However, there are two more people that I would nominate. Why these guys didn’t end up on the original, I think, is a little more obvious: these guys are their kinda guys. These two men are still heroes to plenty of the American right wing:

–Joseph McCarthy. A demagogue and political hack first, last and always. Lied about his World War II record to look good to voters. Said he’d flown dozens of missions though he’d flown 12, said he got wounded in battle when it was just a hazing incident, personally forged a ‘letter of commendation’ from Admiral Nimitz. Exploited Cold War hysteria by claiming he had a list of 200 (or 50 or 80) commies in the State Department. Never managed to prove a single one was, in fact, a Soviet plant. Created an atmosphere corrosive and paranoid, and it broke out of the Capitol and ran across the nation. Encouraged Americans to suspect their neighbors and co-workers, changing American life for the worse. Forced innocent people to testify in public hearings seen by millions, upended or ruined scores of careers. Accused anyone who opposed him or his methods, including Edward R. Murrow, of also being Communist. After 4 years of madness, the nation returned to its senses and came to despise the Wisconsin senator. He drank himself to death in less than another 4 years. Right-wingers like to claim he was right about the commies — several reports out of the former USSR showed there may have been 10 or more of his ‘names’ that were colluding with the Soviets. What they fail to realize is that McCarthy almost single-handedly destroyed America’s ability to figure that out. Unchecked rage and paranoia destroy perception and rational thought. ‘McCarthyism’ is still a poisonous pejorative to this day.

–Nathan Bedford Forrest. An unqualified military genius of the Civil War, revolutionizing cavalry tactics and strategy. Brave to the point of crazy. May have been built for war: when only twenty, killed two men and knifed two more in an act of blood revenge. Became a millionaire before the age of forty relying on two things: cotton farming, which the slaves did, and the buying and selling of commodities — his slaves. Joined the Confederacy, killed 30 men during the War. Refused to accept the surrender of dozens of mostly black Union soldiers at Fort Pillow, resulting in a massacre. While even letters from his soldiers bore the massacre’s fact out, he refused to acknowledge it, to his death. After the War, became the first Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, legitimizing America’s greatest and longest-lived terrorist organization. Stripped of his slaves, unable to continue his previous businesses, he ran a railroad and bankrupted it. Ran a prison. Became a great hero to the South after his death, spawning Forrest City, Arkansas, Forrest County, Mississippi, Nathan Bedford Forrest State Park in Tennessee, and the state’s naming July 13 “Nathan Bedford Forrest Day.” A bust of Nathan sits in the Tennessee State Capitol to this day. He’s an emblem of the sweet and sour nature of the memories of the Civil War and the South’s still wounded pride: a great warrior, but a horribly flawed American. Tennessee chooses to embrace Nathan as a “Defender of the South.” He defended a helluva lot more than that.

If you aren’t familiar with the inner workings of cuckoo clocks, well, here’s your chance. No need for the coke bottle specs, these boing-ed springs and toothless gears merely lie around, here on the internetz.

Here’s the question: who are or were the worst Americans? Like Hitler, for Germany. The USSR’s Stalin. Rome’s Caligula, Romania’s Vlad the Impaler. Nancy’s Spike, Tommy’s wicked Uncle Ernie: yuck.

Who are our worst citizens? Well, wouldn’t we like to know? Especially when the undisputed Top Guns of American History — CONSERVATIVE BLOGGERS — are the judges? Hell, yeah, I’d like to know because I could always use a good laugh.

Right Wing News did the polling:

Conservative Bloggers Select The 25 Worst Figures In American History
August 13, 2010

Out of all the gangsters, serial killers, mass murderers, incompetent & crooked politicians, spies, traitors, and ultra left-wing kooks in all of American history — have you ever wondered who the worst of the worst was? Well, we here at RWN wondered about that, too, and that’s why we decided to email more than a hundred bloggers to get their opinions.

Did and done.

Okay, ready for some highlights? Here we go:

–Number 23: Hillary Clinton. Former First Lady and Senator from New York. Current U.S. Secretary of State. What damage has she done to the United States? Not sure. The White House and the state of New York seem to have recovered. Maybe she’s doing something awful right now? Maybe we should scan the news.

–Number 19: Michael Moore. Moviemaker. He makes movies. Popular movies.

–Number 13 (tie): Richard Nixon. Illegally bombed Cambodia (ushering in the Khmer Rouge), refused to end Johnson’s deadly war (until later), carried out Kissinger’s literally mega-murderous Central and South American foreign policies, broke into the Democratic national headquarters to steal an election, broke into the office of the psychologist of a political enemy to destroy him, conspired to cover up multiple crimes, fired the special prosecutor looking into the allegations, generally subverted the government for political gain. Lied to the American people without end or shame. Destroyed Americans’ faith in government. Resigned in disgrace.

–Number 13 (tie): Nancy Pelosi. First female Speaker of the House, serving 3 years and 7 months. Sought to pass Democratic legislation. Seeks to pass Democratic legislation.

–Number 11: John Wilkes Booth. Giant Wingnut. Assassinated probably the greatest American in history, the Great Emancipator, the man who saved the union, Abraham Lincoln. Threw American politics into disarray, leading to the impeachment of Andrew Johnson and the disastrous, thoroughly corrupted Presidency of U.S. Grant.

–Number 9: Timothy McVeigh. Not just America’s Worst Terrorist, one of the world’s worst terrorists. 168 dead, including 19 children.

–Number 7: Lyndon Johnson. Vietnam. And Vietnam and Vietnam. Used an imaginary skirmish, the Gulf of Tonkin incident, to start a war. 57,000 Americans dead, maybe as many as 2,000,000 Vietnamese in addition. Aaaaaannnnnd . . . cut! The Civil Rights Act of 1964? The Voting Rights Act of 1965? The WAR ON POVERTY!?!? AAAUUGGHH!

–Number 4: Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. American Commies. Spies. Well, Julius was. Passed on nuclear secrets to the Soviets. Probably. Both executed.

–Number 2: Barack Obama. U.S. President from January of last year to the present, 19 months. Umm . . healthcare reform? Nobel Peace Prize? The War in — oh, he didn’t start that. The War in — nope, not that one either. The Great Recession? Nopey nope. Yes, he’s got to be the second worst American in over two centuries. Still, he’s no . .

–Number 1: Jimmy Carter. Another of the Nobel committee’s devils. Evil incarnate. The Simpsons encapsulated the neon nightmare of pestilence and plague that Carter wrought upon the nation with these two words: Malaise Forever. His most disastrous policy would be . . ? I’m drawing a blank on Carter policies. Any of his policies. The whackos executed Ethel Rosenberg, just think of what they’d like to do to Jimmy. Better sneak up on him, Lucifer Himself is often swinging a hammer putting up houses for the poor.

Well, there you have it. And Good Golly.

But they seem to have skipped over quite a few thoroughly detestable Americans. Many of the Conservative ilk, perhaps? Don’t ya think? I do. More later.

Bhruic 3 hours ago

John Wilkes Booth as one of the worst Americans? His only mistake was that he was 4 years late.
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Gbvic 2 hours ago in reply to Bhruic

ahmen brother.
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Bildo 3 hours ago in reply to Bhruic

Liberal troll?
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Bhruic 2 hours ago in reply to Bildo

Classical liberal? Sure. Troll? Not so much.
Abe was less faithful to the constitution than any other president in American history. He is responsible for the deaths of a few hundred thousand human beings because he wanted to collect tariffs from southern ports, not to free the slaves. Lincoln was a tyrant that has been deified by revisionist historians.

Yes, they do, if this post from TPM is remotely accurate, which it is.

Conservapedia is ostensibly the right-wing answer to the internet institution Wikipedia. I’ve written about it several times previously at another site, now defunct.

It’s a hilarious place, a great way to spend a free 10 or 20 minutes looking up your favorite controversial subject to read nearly illiterate opinion masquerading as encyclopedic knowledge.

Currently on the front page:

So, you can see the level of discourse. TPM came across a particularly hilarious attack on the science left behind by notorious moonbat Albert Einstein. He is currently held in high regard in scientific circles. And elsewhere.

Conservapedia: E=mc2 Is A Liberal Conspiracy
Megan Carpentier | August 9, 2010, 5:01PM

. . If you’re behind on your physics, the Theory of Relativity was Albert Einstein’s formulation in the early 20th century that gave rise to the famous theorum that E=mc2, otherwise stated as energy is equal to mass times the square of the speed of light. Why does Andy Schlafly hate the theory of relativity? We’re pretty sure it’s because he’s decided it doesn’t square with the Bible.

In the entry, “Counterexamples to Relativity,” the authors (including Schlafly) write:

“The theory of relativity is a mathematical system that allows no exceptions. It is heavily promoted by liberals who like its encouragement of relativism and its tendency to mislead people in how they view the world.”

Really? Yes, really. Here’s the following line, that TPM skipped:

Here is a list of 24 counterexamples: any one of them shows that the theory is incorrect.

Really! Any one of them blows Relativity out of the water. Took decades before the shocking theories (there’s actually two of them) became widely accepted by physicists. But Conservapedia wiped the entirety of Einstein’s work out with a mere couple of webpages.

8. The action-at-a-distance of quantum entanglement.
9. The action-at-a-distance by Jesus, described in John 4:46-54.

Convinced yet?

18. The lack of a single useful device developed based on any insights provided by the theory; no lives have been saved or helped, and the theory has not led to other useful theories and may have interfered with scientific progress. This stands in stark contrast with every verified theory of science. The only device based on relativity is the atom bomb, but that has destroyed far more lives than it’s saved so it can hardly be considered useful.

Well, that’s not a counter-example, is it? In fact, The Bomb continues to function frighteningly well, bearing out Einstein’s work. They seemed to have missed that point. Other times, they seem to want to borrow Al’s science, when it helps their cause:

Time Dilation and Creation Science

Creation scientists such as physicists Dr. Russell Humphreys and Dr. John Hartnett have used relativistic time dilation to explain how the earth can be only 6,000 years old even though cosmological data (background radiation, supernovae, etc.) set a much older age for the universe.

It’s a bit confusing.

Wow. What a p.r. master.

Nevada’s Tea Party right-wing Senate candidate, Sharron Angle, finally pops up in big media. She’s been dodging reporters and writers and TV people and internet sources and everybody on the planet because she’s a laughable whackjob whose public numbers are doing a Titanic now that her clownish personal views are known. Let’s abolish Social Security, Medicare, the Department of Education and fluoridation of your tap water, good ideas all.

Here, she finally sits down for an interview with a friendly face, Fox’s Carl Cameron. Carl asks her about her recent allergies to media, to which she rebounds with about as good a 25 seconds of ‘WTF?‘ as you’ll get.

The impersonation is spot on. The combination of animal self-assurance and prideful clod-hopping down the simplest path to a rout invokes Dwight Schrute in oblivious glory. The lack of awareness is nothing to be ashamed of, no, it’s a killer feature of the overall Angle nature. Albeit a disturbingly, psychotically grinning and head-bobbing nature.

Sharron Angle will just do what Sharron Angle will do. For example, if you, say, try to use her personal views, once proudly laid out for all to see on her former website, against her in a political campaign and the tactic begins to work, you will be accosted with lawsuits. You must be stopped from being effective. That’s what Sharron Angle will do. It’s not about Sharron Angle, it’s about Sharron Angle simply winning.

Speaking of which, help out Carl, here, Sharron — why were you having such a bad time dealing with the media? What were you trying to do?

[grin] Well . . .

1.) We had to transform the media into friends.
2.) SO that they would ask the questions we wanted them to ask.
3.) SO that we could get the answers out that made us look good.
4.) SO that we could lobby the audiences to go to Sharron Angle dot com.
5.) SO that they would donate at Sharron Angle dot com.
6.) LIKE your listeners, who can go to Sharron Angle dot com.

A Senate campaign’s pretty simple, really:

It’s about time Conservatives made it clear whom they were rooting for, ruckus-wise.

Coming around only once every four years, it’s the world’s greatest stinging hornets and swarming insects poetry jam in centuries, if not more. Bzzz. There’s also a bizarre Soccer Kabuki Montage playing out in the background, to no one’s entertainment.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010
The Apathetic but Freedom-Loving American’s Guide to the World Cup
Posted by: Kevin Glass at 1:54 PM

Do you not particularly care about soccer other than global geopolitics? Upset with others acting morally superior over you for not paying attention to the “beautiful game” of “football?” Fear not! I’ve got just the compromise for you.

Just root for the team from the country ranked higher in the Heritage Foundation’s Index of Economic Freedom!