Conservative Comedian Monologues the Oscars and Rahmbo
by Evan Sayet
03/09/2010
All sorts of history was made this week at the Academy Awards with Kathryn Bigelow becoming the first woman to ever win the “best director” award. That is, if you don’t count Woody Allen.
SNARF! He’s a wuss.
Another interesting sidebar is that Bigelow was married to Avatar director, James Cameron for two years, which makes that the longest lasting marriage in Hollywood history.
Aw shit! That’s TRUE!
Has it ever struck you how the Hollywood award season is kind of like a woman aging? It starts with the Golden Globes, goes to the SAG awards and finishes with Grammy’s.
Lindsay Lohan, a person famous for doing absolutely nothing other than club-hopping faux-bisexuals and mountains of coke, feels like she’s been used. Punchline.
Okay: Lindsay Lohan, a young woman famous for baring her genitalia, doesn’t appreciate the unwelcome exposure that a new . . advertisement . . aaaaannnnnd CUT.
Lindsay Lohan is suing the financial company E-Trade, insisting that a boyfriend-stealing, “milkaholic” baby in its latest commercial — who happens to be named Lindsay — was modeled after her. And she wants $100 million for her pain and suffering, The Post has learned.
The actress filed a lawsuit yesterday in Nassau County Supreme Court over the commercial that debuted during the Super Bowl this year.
The ad — part of a series starring babies who play the stock market — features a boy apologizing to his girlfriend via video chat for not calling her the night before.
“And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn’t over?” the baby girl asks him suspiciously.
“Lindsay?” the boy replies, just before a baby girl sticks her head into the frame and slurs, “Milk-a-what?”
Lohan’s lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, said the actress has the same single-name recognition as Oprah or Madonna . .
“They used the name Lindsay,” Ovadia said. “They’re using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message.”
Not any more, congratulations. Lindsay officially sees herself as a drunken tramp.
And didja ever think maybe Madonna and Oprah have that ’single name recognition’ because they don’t share their weirdo names with anyone else? Cher, anyone? Elvis, hello? Englebert?
If she pulls this off, watch every celebrity in the universe tear the Big Book of Baby Names into a million proprietary pieces. Watch Michael Jordan and Michael J. Fox battle the estates of Michael Crichton and Michael Jackson for Total Mike Supremacy. Watch Dick Van Dyke sue Dick Cheney for defamation. Watch Dwyane Wade have nothing to do.
Senator from Alaska Lisa Murkowski is an enemy of the environment — and why is it that folks from maybe the most beautiful state want to decimatethe place?
Anyways, she’s been trying to substitute the Clean Air Act with her own ‘Dirty Air Act’, stripping the EPA of its ability to regulate CO2 emissions. What a great idea.
For her greedy, misbegotten efforts, Greenpeace put this together:
Funny. Well, that may look like a comedic clip masquerading as politics, but that was actually some sort of attempt on the defenseless Senator’s life, or the lynching of her children, or something.
[Robert] Dillon said the [video] site featured “insults to the senator and her family — as if these people have no bounds, no sense of truth, and no interest in meaningful climate policy. Greenpeace should be downright ashamed to be associated with, let alone paying for, these ads.”
On the contrary, it’s pretty well ‘bound’ed — it’s satire. Sensitive?
“This is a perfect example of what’s wrong with Washington. Too often outside groups go for the personal attack when they can’t win on the merits. Rather than have a legitimate debate about the policy, they launch a smear campaign.”
There you go. If you ask Washington what the problem with Washington is, it’s people outside of Washington.
“. . Last week, the Supreme Court reversed a century of law to open the floodgates for special interests — including foreign corporations — to spend without limit in our elections,” Obama said. “Well I don’t think American elections should be bankrolled by America’s most powerful interests, or worse, by foreign entities. They should be decided by the American people, and that’s why I’m urging Democrats and Republicans to pass a bill that helps to right this wrong.”
The shot of the black-robed Supreme Court justices, stone-faced, was priceless . .
Took me a couple of viewings, but it’s true, he doesn’t like it. I’ve never seen a Supreme Court Justice react to a SOTU speech, that’s bizarre.
McCain also didn’t like Obama talking about handling the towering deficits:
McCain seen mouthing ‘blame it on Bush’ when Obama outlines the problems he inherited.
UPDATE: McCain went on Fox News and talked to Sean Hannity after the speech, saying, “What we’re hearing tonight is ‘BIOB’ — let’s call it that from now on. Blame it on Bush. Whatever has gone wrong, let’s blame it on Bush. I think the people of Massachusetts last Tuesday pretty well rejected that line of conversation.”
Thank you, Tintin and Thers. Was kicking around Blogistan when I came across the internecine blog strife. Between Sadly, No! and Whiskey Fire, a video war has erupted as to whose clip sucksest. And I am afraid Tintin at Sadly, No! has won:
Siren song? Mating call? The haunting trill of the Great Endangered Lunar Badger? Don’t answer–we don’t need any more of them around.
Vitas apparently makes his own clothes. More or much less.
CHANGE! Eric Allie, a regular. And running with the meme that Obama threatened to close Offutt Air Force Base unless Ben Nelson supported the healthcare bill. Does anyone know why he made the threat a file? Paper doesn’t bleed, Eric. Coulda just put a horse’s head in the bed and marked it ‘Offutt AFB’.
Oh, the subtlety. Ahmadinejad mocks Obama, then assaults him, and then Allie puts words in Obama’s mouth to make him look foolish, and then inserts an editorial comment to blast the same words that Allie made up. What, Eric, too chickenshit to hang him from a tree?
Everybody knows the economy’s awesome. And Steve Kelley’s about as witty as it gets. Watch:
Not sure if this is a full-blown punking or only just very funny, but this ‘Erickson’ guy gets up there and does a pretty good job of pointing out the historic dangers of European immigration: slavery, genocide and small pox.
Time to do something about it: “COLUMBUS GO HOME!”
One of the leaders of an organization sponsoring the event said they knew he was a joker, so they let him to do that to embarrass himself. Odd strategy.
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Mar 10, 2010 
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academy awards, comedian, comedy, comedy autism, hollywood, monologues, oscars, right wing
