Browsing the archives for the *holes category.


Harry Reid’s wife suffers broken neck in violent auto wreck, Conservative blogger uploads satire, whirrs, powers down

*holes, abortion, attack of the wuss, healthcare reform

Oh, you thin-skinned lefties — what’s the big deal? So what if she’s bleeding and broken? So what if her family were humbly praying that she’d live? So what if people are shocked and saddened by the tragedy? She’ll probably be out of ICU soon.

Look, Conservative bloggers just don’t come equipped with empathy, tact or class circuitry. Those would be self-defeating features. They only recognize a hilarious bit of news after they download and scan it.

Forget worrying about Landra Reid, witness instead the wonders of right-wing technology; it’s time for backslapping internet political comedy, courtesy of the Spazman Chuckletwat 3000, Dan Riehl:

Isn’t It Time To Euthanize Reid’s Wife?

I’m not sure I quite understand this, given that cost is so important as a burden to taxpayers when it comes to health care. If Democrats want so badly to abort babies because of it, why are we bothering with someone who has a broken neck and back at 69? It sounds to me like she’s pretty well used up and has probably been living off the taxpayers for plenty of years to begin with. Aren’t we at least going to get a vote on it?

Vote on her? Comical. Okay, alright — *ahem* NO he DIH-HIN’T, or however you spell that. Oh Snap, they said.

I realize her crook of a husband and his pals in Congress have excluded themselves from the mess they’re going to compel everyone else to join, but we’re still paying the bills, are we not? I don’t see that she’s worth it at this point, frankly. I can’t recall her ever doing anything for me.

You know how you can tell this is sophisticated satire and not opportunistic sadism? Because he calls Reid a “crook.” C’mon, that’s completely out of Riehl’s wiring character. Or, alternatively, in the sense of ‘reality’, that’s Dan to a ‘T’, a feckless Tool.

Oh, Lenny Bruise-bot, how you challenge us . . to recall this post when something bad happens to someone you love, because it surely will.

Come on, Harry – do your civic duty. The nation’s broke and counting on you guy. Pull the plug and get back to work. And don’t bill us for a full day today, either. This is no time to be sloughing off. Air freight her home, you can bury her during recess on your own time and dime. Or are you going to bill us for that, too?

Send her body back by air freight? Oh, Dan, you are rich. Sleep now. Beep.

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World War Two has broken out, time to do something about all the Japanese

*holes, christianists, muslin death charge

If Al Qaeda called Bryan to jihad, he’d have to kill himself. Why take chances, right?


No more Muslims in the military: Al Qaeda says so
By Bryan Fischer

. . [Adam] Gadahn converted to Islam at a mosque in Orange County, of all places, which once again raises questions about the wisdom of allowing Muslims to immigrate to the United States. Are we importing the seeds of our own destruction and then growing them to evil maturity on our own soil?

Gadahn added, “I am calling on every honest and vigilant Muslim in the countries of the Zionist-Crusader alliance in general and America, Britain and Israel in particular to prepare to play his due role in responding to and repelling the aggression of the enemies of Islam.”

Ah, so apparently the only Muslims we have to worry about are the “honest and vigilant” ones. The dishonest and indifferent Muslims, well, they’re okay. So: how do we tell the difference? And what will prevent the sleepy Muslims from awakening from their spiritual stupor and being overcome with Sudden Jihad Syndrome?

There is nothing in the Constitution or in our immigration policy that compels us to admit sworn enemies of the U.S. into our country, and the more devout a Muslim becomes, the more of a threat to our national security he becomes. It’s nuts even to take the chance.

Unless and until we can find some way to guarantee that Muslim immigrants will never, ever under any circumstances take their religion, their god, their prophet, and their Holy Book seriously, perhaps it’s best for our national security interests to encourage them to keep living right where they are.

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Why is the right wing so insanely obsessed with homosexuality right now?

*holes, gays

This is crazy. I’m not trying to bore anybody, I can do that without effort. Conservatives, especially the internet types, have really gone nuts over the ‘Homosexual Agenda.’ The top-notch internet stupidity seems to be almost entirely gay obsessed:

The University of Notre Shame
by Mike Adams

. . The Observer, the student newspaper at the University of Notre Dame, has shown that our nation’s Catholic universities no longer provide an escape from the politically correct orthodoxy running rampant on our nation’s public campuses . .

The Observer declined to print a column that defends Church teachings on homosexual activity, which was written by Charles Rice – a Notre Dame Professor of Law. Rice has written a regular column with the Observer for nearly two decades.

. . the reason for the pattern is simple: The Observer carves out a special “opposing viewpoint” exception for homosexuality because the Observer is intensely homophobic.

And the reason for the intense homophobia manifested by Matt Gamber and the Observer is also simple: Homosexuals are less tolerant of criticism than any other portion of the American population, including feminists and Muslims.

But the consequences of homosexual intolerance are not as simple. They are twofold: 1) Homosexual intolerance tends to result in the suppression of contrary views, and 2) Such intolerance tends to make others fearful of talking to homosexuals. In other words, homosexual intolerance actually promotes homophobia.


People who fight intolerance promote it. When you won’t allow the mindless excoriation that singles you out to be broadcast, on-lookers get turned off.

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I figured Sting was an ass, but wow . .

*holes, business, dang, torture

You thought Sting was some sensitive touchy-feely? He sings for the night, dances for the desaparecidos, hopes the Russians love their children too, blah blah? The joke’s on you: he just pocketed a million pounds to play for the murderous, despotic ruling family of Uzbekistan.

Sting in the pay of tyrannical Uzbekistan regime
Sting accepted more than £1m to play for the Uzbek dictator’s daughter, reports Marina Hyde

Once again we must ponder the question “how much money is enough?”, inspired by reports that Sting accepted between £1m and £2m to perform for the glory of the brutal despotic regime in Uzbekistan.

The services of Sting – whose personal fortune is estimated well north of £150m – were engaged by Gulnara Karimova, the daughter and anointed heir of dictator Islam Karimov.

Sting-with-Gulnara-Karimov


There he is, with Gulnara. But Islam “The Boiler” Karimov? A contender to the “I Think Saddam Hussein Was A Girl” title? This is what the guy does:

Uzbekistan: Two Brutal Deaths in Custody / Human Rights Watch
Deaths Reveal “Horror” of Uzbek Prisons
August 9, 2002

Two suspicious deaths with apparent signs of torture highlight Uzbekistan’s brutal ongoing crackdown against independent Muslims, Human Rights Watch said today. The bodies of Muzafar Avazov and
Husnidin Alimov, both religious prisoners at Jaslyk Prison, were returned to family members for burial in Tashkent Thursday.

Individuals who had seen one of the bodies told Human Rights Watch that it showed clear signs of torture. The authorities reportedly muzafar avazovrestricted viewing of the second body. Both men had been imprisoned at Jaslyk Prison, well-known for its harsh conditions and ill-treatment and torture of religious prisoners.

Human Rights Watch has learned that the body of Muzafar Avazov, a 35-year old father of four, showed signs of burns on the legs, buttocks, lower back and arms. Sixty to seventy percent of the body was burnt, according to official sources. Doctors who saw the body reported that such burns could only have been caused by immersing Avazov in boiling water.


Sting’s trying to spin it, but it ain’t working:

“I played in Uzbekistan a few months ago,” he begins. “The concert was organized by the president’s daughter and I believe sponsored by Unicef.”

You can believe it all you like, Sting, but it’s absolute cobblers – Lost in Showbiz has checked it out with Unicef, who tactfully describe themselves as “quite surprised” by your claim . .

The United Nations Children Fund?? Laaaaaaame. Can’t keep up on current events?

“Hey, Sting — what the hell are you doing here, in Tashkent, headlining the “Razor Straps for the Secret Police” event?”

“. . err . . Haiti.”

Better. Well, it was actually for the daughter, and maybe she’s not quite as evil, eh? No?

Sting. Seriously. At least pretend to give a shit. Or have all those seven-hour orgasms finally made you too tired to care? Because as bad as the father is, the daughter – Sting’s host – is right there with him.

Sting’s actual host, Islam’s daughter Gulnora, was named last year by Foreign Policy Magazine as one of the World’s Worst Daughters for actions like deporting 24 of her ex-husband’s relatives to Afghanistan at gunpoint (and imprisoning three others), and dealing with competitors to her tea businesses by sending “hooded men with machine guns” to “liquidate their holdings.” (And while we have no proof, it’s entirely possible that “holdings” means “intestines.”)


Former British ambassador to Uzbekistan Craig Murray:

“This really is transparent bollocks,” observes Murray on his blog. “He did not take a guitar and jam around the parks of Tashkent. He got paid over amuzavar avazov 2 million pounds to play an event specifically designed to glorify a barbarous regime. Is the man completely mad?

“Why does he think it was worth over a million quid to the regime to hear him warble a few notes?

“I agree with him that cultural isolation does not help. I am often asked about the morality of going to Uzbekistan, and I always answer – go, mix with ordinary people, tell them about other ways of life, avoid state owned establishments and official tours. What Sting did was the opposite. To invoke Unicef as a cover, sat next to a woman who has made hundreds of millions from state forced child labour in the cotton fields, is pretty sick.”

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The verdict is in on Marty Peretz

*holes, iraq, violence monger, war on terrorism

Sorry, But The Verdict Is In On The Long American Excursion In Iraq. And It Is Favorable.
by Marty Peretz

There were moments–long moments–during the Iraq war when I had my doubts. Even deep doubts. Frankly, I couldn’t quite imagine any venture requiring trust with Arabs turning out especially well. This is, you will say, my prejudice. But some prejudices are built on real facts, and history generally proves me right. Go ahead, prove me wrong.


You don’t want to read this piece of shit. Or the article. 4 years ago, today:

Marine dies from injuries at Bethesda medical center

IRAQ US TOLL CAPSULESWALKER BASIN, Calif. — A Marine on his third tour of duty in Iraq died from injuries sustained in a roadside bombing just weeks before returning home, his family said.

Marine Cpl. Adam Zanutto, 26, died March 6 at the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md., where he was being treated for injuries he suffered Feb. 25 outside Baghdad.

Zanutto’s wife, Amber, whom he married on the Fourth of July, and his mother were at his side when he died . .

I want him back, but he’s gone. You’re dead fucking wrong, Marty, and a racist.

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Karl Rove holds the line on George W. Bush’s Iraq War madness

*holes, bush league, iraq, violence monger

Karl Rove was George W. Bush’s right-hand political guy during the horrible 2001-through-2008 years of our American history.

He’s recently written a memoir of the time he spent as adviser to the most powerful man in the world. In the account, he doesn’t apparently regret telling the nation that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction or that Iraqis would give them to terrorists, or regret using those falsehoods to take the country to war, killing thousands of Americans.

Once the truth became known, he regrets not pushing back harder against his and the president’s opponents:

Rove Admits to Error On Iraq As Bush Strategist

Political strategist Karl Rove says President George W. Bush made the right decision to launch the Iraq war in 2003, but the former White House adviser admits the failure to find weapons of mass destruction badly damaged the administration’s credibility.

In his new memoir, “Courage and Consequence,” Rove blames himself for not pushing back against claims that Bush had taken the country to war under false pretenses, calling it one of the worst mistakes he made during the Bush presidency.

Rove says Bush did not knowingly mislead the American public about the existence of such weapons.

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EXCLUSIVE: God clarifies his “abortion = I disable your child” policy

*holes, christianists, republicans

Virginia State Delegate Bob Marshall touched off a national firestorm today after his remarks on the cause of childhood disabilities unwittingly exposed hitherto unknown providential policy.

“The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, bob_marshallnature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children,” said Marshall, a Republican.

“In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. There’s a special punishment Christians would suggest.”

The causative relationship between abortions and the subsequent appearance of disabilities in children had never been suspected until Marshall tipped the world off. Scientists have only begun to crunch the considerable statistical data on handicaps, but preliminary results seem to support the assertion. “There’s absolutely no scientific reason for the cause and effect link” one investigator told thump and whip when contacted. “Acts of God are a good fit, as far as current theory goes.”

Reached only this afternoon, The Lord confirmed that kids’ disabilities were, in fact, retribution for abortion:

“I want to make this clear to all my children: the autistics, the dyslexics, the schizophrenics, those with crippling depression, bipolar disorder and Asperger’s, the deaf, dumb and blind, struggling with Down Syndrome, with hydrocephaly and microcephaly, with other developmental disorders of my mysterious origins, those with missing digits and limbs, with muscular dystrophy, with brain and spinal injuries, those in great pain, those wishing for death, and those mercifully soon to die — this isn’t about you. I love you. It’s your mothers I’m angry with.”

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The word on CPAC’s most vicious homophobe, Ryan Sorba: “This kid is deep in the closet, people.”

*holes, blog stuff, gays, wingnuts


Gay Republican blogger Alex Knepper:

My Fight With Ryan Sorba, the Kid Who Denounced GOProud

This kid is deep in the closet, people.

My colleague Nate Gunderson caught me as I was nearly out the door. I was walking back from the bloggers’ lounge with a friend in the Virginia newspaper business, and Nate tapped my shoulder to tell me that Ryan Sorba, the kid who embarrassed himself in front of the world by denouncing GOProud to a round of boos, was standing twenty feet away from me. He had a few people near him, probably curious about who he was and what he stood for.

After deliberating for a few seconds, I decided to let Adam Brickley and a couple of guys from The Lobbyist walk to Murphy’s, where the FrumForum party was being held, by themselves. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to meet this guy . .

ryan sorba alex knepper“So, you’re the infamous Ryan Sorba,” I said.

“Yep!”

“You’ve made quite a name for yourself.”

“Haha, yeah. Where are you from?”

“I go to college around here, American University.”

“What are you studying?”

“I was double-majoring in Political Science with a political theory focus and International Relations with an Islamic Studies focus, but I think I’m going to drop the latter. I can’t take the relativistic preaching, the whitewashing of the burqa, Sayyid Qutb, the entire religion.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. So what did you think of my little tirade, then?”

“Oh, I thought it was quite evil, actually. I’m gay.”

“You mean you think you’re gay.”

“No, I’m gay. Do you think it’s a choice?”

“I think it’s the result of a complex process of social and environmental factors, but that it’s reversible.”

“So, like, why is it that over one hundred animals have been observed engaging in homosexual sex in nature?”

Continue Reading »

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“UC Irvine has been a disaster area for Jews”

*holes, controversy, middle east

In the sense of, what? Jews are uncomfortable with an angry Muslim population? What a surprising “disaster”.

Israeli ambassador Michael Oren gets shouted down at UC Irvine:



“Well, this one will get your blood going. The ultimate responsibility for this resides with the university which has done nothing to curb this already known problem.”

The problem of interrupting speechifying you don’t agree with? That problem’s been around for thousands of years. I don’t agree with the Muslim Student Union’s tactics, but I certainly understand the anger. I’d rather have heard them go after this guy in the Q and A.

“UC Irvine has been a disaster area for Jews and a seething pot of jihadism for a long time. Students should have been expelled and the Muslim Student Union de-certified (or the equivalent) long ago.

This isn’t “jihadism”, idiot. And de-certifying the MSU won’t make them, or the yelling, disappear.

“What you see in the video is not free speech, but the signs of a growing minority who seek to drag us down to the level of the typical Middle Eastern third world hell-holes they so admire.”

Yes, you’re so much better than them. Who is this asshole?

Solomonia (”Solomon” with an “ia” at the end) is the web log of Martin ‘Solomon.’

His last name in quotes?

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Hi-LARIOUS Townhall columnist calls Behar and Ensler “cacklers”, “hagzilas” and “slabs of beef” after they criticize Palin

*holes, right wing

A right-wing dude’s dude, Doug Giles, too comical for words:

The Vagina Monologues Chick Speaks Out of Her Backside Regarding Palin
by Doug Giles

I feel sorry for the Haitians devastated by the recent earthquake and the people getting slaughtered in Darfur, but you know who else I feel sorry for? Joy Behar (The View) and Eve Ensler’s (Vagina Monologues) husbands.

God Almighty! The misery these men must endure being on the receiving end of such nerve-grating, men-hating, unfunny and unlovely cacklers. It’s got to be brutal. You just know, gentlemen, that living with one of those chicks would make the Hanoi Hilton look like a Puff Daddy party.

What’s that, you say? Behar and Ensler aren’t married? Wow. That’s a shocker—not.


Oh, I just want to give him a giant bear hug, like one of those where you bounce him up and down and the both of you wheeze your pinched, red faces off. Holy pigass, he’s witty. I mean, bitches – c’mon.

. . I would like to point out what these two slabs of beef did this past week to Sarah Palin, in case you missed Behar’s TV show on HLN (which I believe now stands for the Hellish Ladies Network).

Joy and Eve spent three and a half eye-burning, ear-screeching minutes blah-blah-blah-ing about how Sarah Palin, from an intelligence standpoint, hasn’t “evolved” yet…

Palin hasn’t evolved? Puh-lease. Man, envy is ugly, ain’t it? Here’s the thing that gets the goat of Behar, Ensler and every other man hating lesbian or feminist about Sarah: She is the exact opposite of what they are and what they support. She is extremely accomplished, is both hot and happy, loves God and limited government, and pretty much every American likes her and respects her for it except for the hagzilas at NOW.

Well, now that’s funny.


The con impresario makes videos too:

He shows up in the back there. Cute, huh?

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Right-wing blogs have a grand time playing up the angle that murderer Amy Bishop was an Obama supporter

*holes, blog stuff, right wing

“A family source said Bishop, a mother of four children – the youngest a third-grade boy – was a far-left political extremist who was ‘obsessed’ with President Obama to the point of being off-putting.”


Sure, there are three dead people — but she was a liberal!

HA HA HO HO, WHO’S WITH ME?

Morning Brief Item 3: Guns Don’t Kill, Obama Trolls Kill

. . I wonder if this means she used to hang out in the comments of right-wing blogs, fanatically denying that Obama was dependent on a Teleprompter and attacking Sarah Palin.

As you can see below the jump, she was also quite a looker.

I have seen that scary, glazed over, dead-eyed, cult-follower stare before.


. . and the President’s policies?

It seems the poor Moonbat is suffering from Obama Derangement Syndrome. How’s that Hope and Change working out for you, Amy?…


. . and this bit of “satire”:

Obama Weighs In On Amy Bishop Case

According to sources, Obama has ordered the drafting of a brief statement after learning of Amy Bishop’s possible involvement in a failed bombing attempt directed at a former Harvard supervisor.

“Ms. Bishop is being placed on the short-list for any senior openings at the NIH. We can no longer allow a lack of opportunity to fuel terrorism here at home, or around the world.”

The WH is said to view the Bishop case as win win for them. It bolsters Obama’s terror fighting credentials, while relying on outside organizations to conduct a WH vetting process that has caused controversy in the past. Obama’s chief regret is said to be his not having learned of Bishop prior to appointing Surgeon General, Dr. Regina Benjamin.


SLAP my BACK! He loves terrorists!

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BREAKING: Self-help guru James Arthur Ray arrested, charged with three counts of manslaughter

*holes, crime, tragedy

Let’s hope that it took so long because of a thorough, professional investigation:

Motivational speaker charged in sweat lodge deaths
By FELICIA FONSECA
Wednesday, February 3, 2010; 10:28 PM

FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Motivational speaker James Arthur Ray was arrested Wednesday afternoon on three counts of manslaughter for deaths that happened after a sweat lodge ceremony he led in northern Arizona last year.

Ray was taken into custody on an indictment at his attorney’s office in Prescott and later led into the Yavapai County jail in Camp Verde wearing blue jeans, tennis shoes and a dark jacket. His bond was set at $5 million, and his first court hearing was scheduled Thursday.

Ray’s attorneys said Wednesday he surrendered to authorities but that the charges were unjust and they were confident he would be exonerated in court. If convicted, he faces a minimum of 3 years and a maximum of 12 1/2 years on each count.

“This was a terrible accident, but it was an accident, not a criminal act,” Ray attorney Luis Li said. “James Ray cooperated at every step of the way, providing information and witnesses to the authorities showing that no one could have foreseen this accident.”


You only need to read some of the coverage I’ve given to this murderous narcissist’s behavior both before and after the sweat lodge deaths to see through his lawyers’ bullcrap. He deserves to get the book thrown at him.



ADD: Nothing on his website yet. But there is a posting there from a few days ago asking people to read his interview in ‘New York’ magazine where he defends himself against the accusations of criminal negligence and discusses, up to the point that his lawyers step in, what occurred:

Did you tell sweat-lodge participants that vomiting was good for them, that the body was purging what it doesn’t want?

I may have mentioned that I had been told by many shamans that the body purges and there’s only certain ways that it can purge. Obviously, you know the bodily functions, so there’s only certain ways that things exit the body.

james ray websiteWhat did you do after making sure 911 was called?

I did everything I could to help. There was a medical doctor there, and I was having her make sure that everything was being run appropriately. I held people’s hands, I stroked their hair, I talked to them, I held IV for the paramedics. I was there the entire time doing whatever I could do to help until I was detained by the detectives.

One of your former employees, Melinda Martin, has said that you did nothing to help. Where was she when you were helping?

She was performing CPR, which she was trained to do. And I was there behind her at one time until I was asked to go look for a defibrillator.

You’ve been quoted as saying, in the tent, “You’re not going to die. You might think you are, but you’re not going to die.” Did you say that?

I think those statements have been—in fact, I don’t think, I know those statements have been taken completely out of context. There’s no one who would say that I was talking literally. If you look at the Judeo-Christian tradition, it’s full of references to death and rebirth. In fact, the apostle Paul, who was pretty much the founder of Christianity post-Jesus’s death, said, “I die daily.” Now, did he really mean that literally? No, of course not. What is meant there is that, you know, you let go of the things that no longer serve you and you move forward. You know, from a physical perspective, a lot of times people running a foot race will be completely winded and say, “God, I feel like I’m going to die,” but do they mean that literally? No, absolutely not.


As linked above, you can read in multiple posts how he presented the ‘Spiritual Warrior’ retreat as some opportunity to ‘die’ your current self and bring out a new one. So if he was telling people who were passing out and puking they weren’t going to die, it had to be in the literal sense. He’s lying.

Nonetheless, he was linking to the interview at the top of his website, so he must have thought he’d done a pretty good job of handling the issues and deflecting blame. He was wrong.

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