Who figured the debate to look like a costume ball? It was Mittens going as a centrist Russell Terrier and the President covering himself in oatmeal. Pretty psychedelic. A shame it wasn’t any less boring. 90 minutes later the challenger scrambled off stage with the seat of Obama’s slacks in his jaws.

That could have gone better. Romney touted his tax plan, and Obama didn’t note it doesn’t actually exist. The plan’s debits and credits are laid out only in Mitt’s top secret imagination. No thing wholly hinging on number-crunching that involves no numbers — not a one, or a 1 — is a ‘plan.’ It’s a dream. But Obama was happy to opine it was a tax cut and golly is that wise? I don’t know, people.

Romney touted his Medicare plan. Which will expand the deficit, shrink benefits and shorten the plan’s life. The President noted that his plan was better, in his opinion, snooze. So Mittens closed the night by touting again his heroic Medicare bungle. Win! Very presidential. Oh well I’m sure people will see how silly it is.

No matter where Mitt went, Obama re-oriented himself to stand directly in front of his punching and absorb his fists. Tried to grab his knuckles and hold them to his chest. If you’re some sort of jiu jitsu master, maybe this is a peaceable way to end the chaos. But if you’re a politician, you look like you’d prefer to get off the stage. Like you suppose yourself to be better than such a spectacle.

Whether it’s for good or bad (bad), Americans want their president to be a rough and ready sort. They can’t imagine a Commander-in-Chief that doesn’t himself want to attack his enemies. It’s stupid American Pop Psychology 101. The debates are then a litmus test for a candidate’s willingness to fight — if for nothing else, at least for his beliefs. If you’re loath to make a public fuss, Mr. President, there will be time for relaxing in civilian life. But you should remember that your country will be the worse for it. Nothing of any good will come from a plucky Romney administration, you know. Try not to not-win this thing.

The eternally disappointed Mark Steyn. He still doesn’t like the President.

. . most of all the future will belong to people who look back at the Obama era and marvel that there was a courageous far-sighted man willing to take on the tough task of slowing the rise of the oceans because the future will belong to people on viable land masses.

The non-viable land masses being cursed holograms. Damn you, laser clouds. Is climate change stupid or what? I mean, pffft. Right? Take that, science.

This futuristic shtick is a cheap’n’cheesy rhetorical device (I speak as the author of a book called “After America,” whose title is less futuristic than you might think) but it seems to play well with the impressionable Obammysoxers of the press corps.

Oh everybody is lame. Steyn has been doing this whiny schtick since the day he was born. And yet, look!

Zoiks. If there’s another human being as cheap’n’cheesy as Mark Steyn, I will be shocked. I will be like . . WHAAAA?

After National Review’s lumbering ginger bitch, Mark Steyn, wrote a pissy post about Sandra Fluke, I criticized him. Here he was:

. . she has concluded that the most urgent need facing the Brokest Nation in History is for someone else to pay for the contraception of 30-year-old children.

Sandra never “concluded” that. But this is about contraception, so she’s a child. Don’t you know anything about the national debt? That’s adult stuff.

Anyway, Steyn read the post –

More fan mail re: #SandraFluke column: thumpandwhip.com/2012/09/08/mar…

— Mark Steyn (@MarkSteynOnline) September 9, 2012

. . and now I’ve got a thousand ginger twats saying I’m stupid.

Abortion and contraception are the only technology we have to manage pregnancy? The ONLY TECHNOLOGY we have to manage pregnancy?? We have no other sort of technology related to pregnancy at all in this world? So “managing” pregnancy means nothing but preventing or ending it?

Once you’re accidentally pregnant, the technologies are pretty lame. Don’t you think? There’s a morning-after pill, I suppose, but that’s cold homicide buddy.

Way to take something out of context. Mark’s point was that contraception is not the job of a federal government. If Sandra cannot afford the $4 pill then maybe should try the old tried and true “just say no” approach to birth control

Way to take something out of context. Sandra was talking about Georgetown’s healthcare plan. It costs students $1800 a year, but it won’t cover birth control. Even though it would likely save the plan money. Strange, don’t you think?

Back in days of yore they used that outdated model of keeping penises out of their vaginas but what is a middle aged student about to start a career in her mid-30′s supposed to do today?

Back then things were smarter. We used to lobotomize certain people. We used to drown others. We used to hang other others.

Your arguement is incoherent at best and again as other posters have mentioned proves the point that liberals want daddy government to protect and care for them cradle to grave.

Oh, youe . .

1.) “Please Mark instruct us. Tell us educated people what we should do with our lives.”

Now there’s irony for ya…

2.) “Tell us educated people”

Based on the quality of your writing and the coherency of your argument, I’m not sure “us” is an appropriate word choice there.

Subjectivists. Ouch my tuxedo ears. I could have pleased the crowd with a “we,” but then I’d be a fool. Wouldn’t I? This is so National Review, it’s pitch perfect.

The only coherent thought in this article is when she quotes Mark. I fear that this is written by another college uneducated 30 year old…

Hey! I’m a dood dammit.

First I must comment on how incoherent this commentary was. It made little sense, and the maligning of the English language indicates someone who learned English from rap albums. Second your point about contraception, well let’s jaunt over to the more enlightened Europe, where the evil white, christian( sorry too few of those), yuppies are barely reproducing at all, as in the case of the vampire sex is merely healthy excersise, and reproduction is strictly for the realm of the living.

Heeeeeee’s Mr. Coherent, doot-do-dooo. Yikes. Somebody call filmmaker Martin Excersise, there’s a Euro-vampire treatment he’s gotta read.

Steyn is addressing his comments to rational adults. That’s why you missing the point.

I not miss point! I get point! Very good point!

How far you’ve fallen if the greatness of a man is to be measured by his enemies.

You came all the way to my blog to say this. Telling. Anyway, thank you Steyn ye ginger bitch for sending me your dullards. This was entertaining graffiti. And now, some hot dogs.

And so the Republican convention ends. There were so many things to be impressed with. There was the uh and also then some other thing. But asking Clint Eastwood to entertain the faithful by carrying out a doddering unscripted conversation with the Obama in his head was frighteningly charming. Groundbreaking too in a daunting way. We can assume a Reagan in his 90s with his mental drapes permanently drawn would have slayed the hell out of this bunch. We can also assume the poor homeless schizophrenic working the taxi stands outside, though plenty sharper, wasn’t nearly famous enough for this crowd.

Here were the lowlights:

Audio of some pastor named ‘Sean Harris’ from Berean Baptist Church in Fayetteville, North Carolina. It’s difficult to dodge the example of Christ in this homily:

“So your little son starts to act a little girlish when he is four years old and instead of squashing that like a cockroach and saying ‘Man up, son, get that dress off you and get outside and dig a ditch because that is what boys do,’ you get out the camera and you start taking pictures of Johnny acting like a female and then you upload it to YouTube and everybody laughs about it and the next thing you know this dude, this kid, is acting out childhood fantasies that should have been squashed.

Can I make it any clearer? Dads, the second you see your son dropping the limp wrist, you walk over there and crack that wrist. Man up. Give him a good punch. Okay? You are not going to act like that. You were made by God to be a male and you are going to be a male.

And when your daughter starts acting too butch, you reign her in. And you say ‘Oh no, sweetheart. You can play sports. Play them to the glory of God. But sometimes you are going to act like a girl and walk like a girl and talk like a girl and smell like a girl and that means you are going to be beautiful. You are going to be attractive. You are going to dress yourself up.’

You say ‘Can I take charge like that as a parent?’ Yeah, you can. You’re authorized, I just gave you a special dispensation this morning to do that.”

As I remember, Jesus figured the moneychangers for fays and put them in headlocks.

Alexandra Pelosi (yes), working for Bill Maher’s program, records this video of white folks in Mississippi. What an astounding clip. It’s like watching the work of a video ethnographer on cryptic cultures. I find myself wanting to shield my eyes, but it’s just too compelling. Here:

I don’t post this just so we can gawk. There’s something important going on here. The biggest impediment to Democrats amassing power the way they deserve, given that regular folks’ values are much more like Democrats’ than the GOP’s, is the ethos so prominently displayed here.

Poor people refuse to do what’s smart. Though they’re horribly abused by their local governments, they keep voting the same people back in. Though they’re falling apart, they don’t want healthcare. Though their kids are in terrible shape, they avoid pre-natal care and Medicaid.

They fight off this sensible help with fierce personal and regional pride. It makes for a deadly serious political problem. It’s also something to see. Once you get past wanting to slap people for their recklessness, you come to terms with it: It’s all they think they have.

That so many folks would even refuse something perhaps life-saving to favor their pride is shocking. But there it is. We should remember that. We should also find a way to present liberal politics to these good, misguided people in a way that accommodates rather than insults their pride. I wish I knew how to do that, but I don’t.

At first, this was funny. How could anyone possibly have a problem with the Girl Scouts? Cookies and campfire songs, what a threat to civilization. Pretty soon the paranoids will be telling us the Do-Si-Dos are laced with razor blades. Something is very wrong with Bob Morris, I thought.

Indiana Lawmaker Accuses Girl Scouts Of Pushing ‘Pro-Abortion’ Agenda, ‘Homosexual Lifestyles’
By Igor Volsky | Think Progress

“The Girl Scouts of America and their worldwide partner, World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts (WAGGGS), have entered into a close strategic affiliation with Planned Parenthood.”

Right. The little girls are being trained to kill children. C’mon, I thought.

Planned Parenthood instructional series and pamphlets are part of the core curriculum at GSA training seminars. Denver Auxiliary Bishop James D. Conley of Denver last year warned parents that “membership in the Girl Scouts could carry the danger of making their daughters more receptive to the pro-abortion agenda.”

What a maroon, right? But take a look how the Girl Scouts award badges. Here’s a screenshot I took of their display. Look in the lower right, where it says “Legacy.” See the “Celebrating Community” badge? What is that?

And “Brownie First Aid.” What the hell?

You don’t think money has corrupted our politics? Meet the man who’s bankrolling Rick “Triojans hurt women” Santorum. His name’s Foster Friess. If Rick is some Medieval scold, Foster might be Minoan:

On this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it’s so, such inexpensive. You know, back in my days, they used Bayer aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees, and it wasn’t that costly.

. . and you wonder why we’ve been fighting over contraception for a week? Because big money sets the agenda. Don’t fall for “This is silly, Andrea,” Foster Friess is having his way. You’re pre-occupied with sex, incidentally, and need a psychiatrist.

What was Winston Smith’s crime? Having sex with Julia. Falling in love with Julia.

O’Brien picked up the cage, and, as he did so, pressed something in it. There was a sharp click. Winston made a frantic effort to tear himself loose from the chair. It was hopeless; every part of him, even his head, was held immovably. O’Brien moved the cage nearer. It was less than a metre from Winston’s face.

“I have pressed the first lever,” said O’Brien. “You understand the construction of this cage. The mask will fit over your head, leaving no exit. When I press this other lever, the door of the cage will slide up. These starving brutes will shoot out of it like bullets.”

Rats. Remember that? Now consider the legislation about to be signed into law by the governor of Virginia. Imagine what Big Brother will soon force upon many panicked and love-struck women:

The Virginia legislature has passed a bill that will force women seeking an abortion to undergo a medically unnecessary transvaginal ultrasound. The mandated procedure requires that a woman’s vagina be distended with a speculum and that a probe be inserted into the vagina and manipulated around so as to produce a high-resolution picture of the uterus and surrounding organs — once again, for no medically sound reason. Governor Bob McDonnell has said that he will sign the bill.

See the Virginia government:

Rats on your face. How about a rat in your ass?

When they’ve got a Pennsylvania C.H.U.D. crawling out of the D.C. sewers, eating the eyes of villagers, why should we intervene? We shouldn’t. Gah. What’s wrong with me?

Darned compassion! Cursed rational ways!

[I] have voted for contraception, although I don’t think it works. I think it’s harmful to women. I think it’s harmful to our society to have a society that says that, y’know, sex outside of marriage is something that should be encouraged or tolerated, particularly among the young . . Birth control enables that and I don’t think it’s a healthy thing for our country.

First: let’s dispense with dumb. Contraception works like gangbusters. Thank you, everybody who worked on the pill.

Second: If I’m madly in love with my wife (girlfriend?) and I want to have sex with her, how do I avoid being “harmful to women?” See, Rick, the problem: I love her. And I listen to her. She does not want to become pregnant. She’s very terrified of the idea.

So what’s an American guy supposed to do? What are a couple supposed to do?

I hope your hands are big enough to hold your head. It’s a Fox clip so brutal, it’s classic.

The occasion of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King’s birthday is a great time to reflect upon things. The greatness of the man. The lasting political power of non-violence. The struggles of people long-denied their rights. The brutality and self-righteousness of oppressors. The segments of our society still in need of King-like grace and tolerance.

1.) Have Bernard Goldberg spend time with Bill O’Reilly.
2.) Ask the two of them to gauge the amount of Mitt Romney’s ‘whiteness.’
3.) Get Bernie to bring from home a keepsake photo of a black person.
4.) Let him brag about how racially hep he is because he spent time with Ice-T.
5.) Have Bill-O point out that Bernie’s best friend is actually Ice Cube.
6.) Make Dr. King plenty proud when Bill explains “I’m a brother, man.”

Now your day’s ruined, and you’d like to kill someone, but, darn it, you can’t do it.

Bowe Bergdahl is an Army soldier held hostage by the Taliban’s Haqqani network since June of 2009. The media have forgotten about the guy, but he is remembered.

. . Bergdahl “came off patrol on June 30th, dropped off his weapon, his body armor, grabbed up a bottle of water, a compass and a knife and took off out on his own. It was sometime after that, apparently, that some local militants grabbed him and turned him over to the Taliban.”

After the Taliban abduction became public, Fox News Channel figured Bergdahl for a great foil. Why? God knows. ‘Who tries to get captured?’ they seemed to ask. Figuring it a proper denouement, their Lt. Col. Peters called for the Taliban to kill him. See the end:

The Pentagon flipped out over the clip. It’s shoddy journalism to demand the death of Army soldiers in enemy hands, I think. My friends are all in agreement on this.

2 1/2 years out, five Taliban videos later, Bergdahl is still alive. And still Taliban property. That’s enough for New York’s Fox News affiliates to turn him upside down, like a prop:

The only known American soldier in Taliban captivity is training fighters in bombmaking and ambush, according to information reported Sunday from one of his captors and the Afghan intelligence agents working to free him.

Unfamiliar with propaganda, Fox 5 didn’t see the dangers in repeating whatever the Haqqanis told them. Didn’t figure the enemy for liars when they told Fox about this friendly Bergdahl. So now a sizable segment of the American population believes that, after deserting the Army, Bowe’s been teaching his captors how to blow up Americans.

Don’t you believe it. Though it’s the latest media splash about Bowe, it’s unlikely true. Here, thanks to Roger Ailes, he may be some spineless traitor. But in the hands of the Taliban, he’s still a loyal American, a dangerous man. I’m betting the enemy know better.