Aren’t Republicans generous with black Democratic politicians? Aren’t they sympathetic and understanding of their travails? Why, lordy, yes they are! Can’t you just sense their fairly vibrating in psychic harmony with those future leaders of . .

. . OOPS! Nothing to see here:

June 14, 2010 12:15 P.M.
The Beauty of Alvin Greene
Jim Geraghty | National Review Online
‘His fairy-tale mystery victory is refreshing, because it subversively suggests that everything we think we know about campaigning is wrong.’

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How the heck did Alvin Greene, an unemployed veteran who lives with his parents and who had no discernable [sic] campaign activity, not only win the South Carolina Democratic Senate primary, but win by a wide margin? . .

It’s called “election fraud”. You can look that up in the “Encyclopedia of Ducks.” It’s a comprehensive source, divided into three parts: looks, quacks and waddles.

Still, an FEC investigation of what, precisely? Does anyone actually want to stake his reputation on an accusation of a vast conspiracy to commit ballot fraud, for the sole purpose of getting Alvin Greene instead of Vic Rawl on the ballot against Jim DeMint? Are we really supposed to think that a South Carolina GOP incumbent, elected with 54 percent of the vote in 2004, who has raised $6 million and is running in a good year for Republicans, was quaking in his boots at the thought of taking on a former circuit-court judge who came out of retirement to be elected to the Charleston County Council?

Well, that settles it. Of course, this sort of crap happens in South Carolina all the time, but, if there’s no point in even running a Democrat, if it’s just a stupid pantomime, then we can all pack up and go home now. First, though, a minuscule bit of whimsy: it’s a big, fat crime. Right, nothing to see here.

Bee-tee-double-yoo, I tried to look up “Jim Geraghty With His Tongue In His Cheek” in the duck book, but I couldn’t find it, so I’m left to assume he’s just dumb.

Of course, “Al Green” is the name of a famous gospel and soul singer. Beyond that, the candidate probably was helped by the fact that he had an exceptionally common name, and thus many voters might mistake the name on the ballot for some other “Al Green” they know.

. . and now I’m bereft of assumptions. Thanks, Jim.

How many guys in South Carolina are known to friends, neighbors, associates, and acquaintances as “Al Green” or “Al Greene”? According to public phone records, there are at least six residents named “Al Green,” five named “Albert Green,” three named “Alvin Green,” and four named “Alan Green.” How many voters saw the name and thought, “Oh, I know him?”

OH YEAH. Alvin-next-door, the guy who used to sit on his couch and watch TV with his hand down his pants, eating pork rinds and farting so loudly it shook our blinds. Of course! Looks like he got around to running for the United States Senate! Good for him.

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Stop calling it weird. Or mysterious. Stop calling it a surprise.

Sen. Nominee Was Kicked Out of Army, Has Felony Charge Pending
By DEVIN DWYER and STEVE OSUNSAMI
MANNING, S.C., June 9, 2010

Alvin Greene, the surprise South Carolina Democratic nominee for U.S. Senate, was kicked out of the Army last year and is facing a pending felony charge, according to court records obtained by ABC News.

Greene, who has yet to enter a plea or be indicted, was arrested in November and charged with “disseminating, procuring or promoting obscenity” in Richland County, S.C., and faces up to five years in prison if convicted.

The U.S. Senate candidate was captured on video surveillance Nov. 4 trying to show “obscene photographs from a website” to a female victim on the University of South Carolina campus and go to her room without her consent, according to the affidavit . .

Greene has been unemployed and living in his rural hometown 60 miles south of Columbia. He doesn’t own a cell phone and there is no computer in his house . .

Greene shocked South Carolina Democrats Tuesday when he won a commanding victory over four-term state lawmaker Vic Rawl in the primary without the help of a war chest of campaign cash or an orchestrated effort to win voters across the state. In fact, there is little evidence that he campaigned at all.

There’s a good reason for that. He didn’t do any campaigning.

So stop calling Greene’s landslide victory in the S.C. Dem Senate primary anything other than what it was: massive right-wing election fraud. They found the perfect stooge to cheat into the Democratic spot so that the ultra-conservative Jim DeMint would win. And HERE WE ARE . .

. . and barring something righting the wrong, like finding out who pulled it off and prosecuting them or Greene’s stepping down (which the pawn has refused to do), the Senate election in South Carolina will be a laugher.

Because nobody is going to vote for this howling dog. And I am putting it lightly: this (below, sadly) is the confused mutt the Democrats supposedly nominated, by the thousands, to become a member of perhaps the most powerful political body on the planet:

Contrast Greene’s senatorial “campaign” with those of California’s Republican gubernatorial candidates in the primary that also got settled on Tuesday. Meg Whitman and Steve Poizner spent more than $90,000,000 on their race. Poizner put in at least $24,000,000 and lost. Alvin Greene put in . . $2,000. And won huge. Errh, ‘ching’?

Well, let’s chat: if no one would dare vote for this loser in November, how did he end up as the nominee? Why did they vote for him on Tuesday? They didn’t.

South Carolina’s electronic voting machines merely said they did. The fraud was and is so obvious that there’s little drama attached to the whole thing, actually. Someone programmed the machines to choose this naked donkey, so — voila — the Democrats get unemployed molester Alvin Greene to back in November.

Greene’s far-favored opponent in the primary race, state legislator and professional politician Vic Rawl, and his campaign people have plenty of evidence of the crime.

First of all, understand that Alvin Greene did NO campaigning, none. He showed up on filing day with a personal check for the hefty fee ($10,400), was told he had to file with a committee check, ran out and came back with a counter check with “Alvin Greene for US Senate” handwritten on the top. Then he utterly disappeared. No website, didn’t show up at any events (including a big one in his hometown), no signs, no nothing. I was tracking him, just in case, because of general paranoia, but never had any reports of activity.

Ridiculous, comical evidence. The most glaring came in comparing the absentee ballots with the election-day ballots. The key: absentee ballots were not counted by the hacked ES&S machines:

In Lancaster County, Rawl won absentee ballots over Greene by a staggering 84 percent to 16 percent margin; but Greene easily led among Election Day voters by 17 percentage points.

In Spartanburg County, Ludwig said there are 25 precincts in which Greene received more votes than were actually cast and 50 other precincts where votes appeared to be missing from the final count.

“In only two of 88 precincts, do the number of votes Greene got plus the number we got equal the total cast,” Ludwig said.

Greene also racked up a 75 percent or greater margin in one-seventh of all precincts statewide, a mark that Ludwig notes is even difficult for an incumbent to reach.

A man who is completely unknown to anybody, who got kicked out of the Army, who has a lurid felony hanging over his head, who mysteriously enters a federal Senate campaign, but then collects or spends no money, and never actually campaigns, never posts a website or Facebook or Twitter account, never surfaces to trash or lessen or debate his opponent, he — slack-faced Alvin Greene — routs the South Carolina Senate primary?

Wingnut cesspool Townhall.com:

Killer Competition
by Rich Tucker

Do private companies want to kill their customers?

It seems like a goofy question. Clearly, if a company killed its customers, there’d be nobody to buy its products and it’d go out of business. But many liberals don’t see it that way . .

Companies don’t kill people, it’s market suicide.

Courtesy “The Pajamahadin” . .

No wonder it’s taking over the Republican Party, it’s populated with the same narcissists. Glory seekers, political opportunists, greed merchants and the like. Welcome to ‘reform’, right-wing style:

Majority Of Tea Party Group’s Spending Went To GOP Firm That Created It
Zachary Roth | December 28, 2009, 6:15PM

The political action committee behind the Tea Party Express (TPE) — which already has been slammed as inauthentic and corporate-controlled by rival factions in the Tea Party movement — directed almost two thirds of its spending during a recent reporting period back to the Republican consulting firm that created the PAC in the first place.

Our Country Deserves Better (OCDB) spent around $1.33 million from July through November, according to FEC filings examined by TPMmuckraker. Of that sum, a total of $857,122 went to Sacramento-based GOP political consulting firm Russo, Marsh, and Associates, or people associated with it…

…one expert on political action committees told TPMmuckraker it was unusual for a PAC to direct so much spending back to the entity that created it. And the spending details raised hackles among members of the Tea Party Patriots, a rival faction of conservative activists who have denounced TPE as a creature of Republican political professionals that lacks grassroots authenticity. In an email to a Patriots group that was obtained by TPMmuckaker, one TPPer who had examined the filings asked, “What would the true grassroots people think if they knew their money is being spent in this manner?”

..earlier…

Party Foul! Tea Partiers Eat Their Own In Bitter Internal Feud
Zachary Roth | November 12, 2009, 5:08PM

…”How much money does TPP have? How much did we make in DC? Where are the financial statements? Do board members get paid and if so who? Who signs the checks? Where does our money go?”

Merits echoed that theme. “Why are the financial records not public knowledge?” he asked. “Show me the money!”

Eventually a Tea Party Patriots loyalist couldn’t take it anymore. “Why are you intentionally trying to destroy this movement??” he demanded.

Charges of lax book-keeping — and worse — appear to be breaking out across the Tea Party movement. In a separate email written Wednesday and obtained by TPMmuckraker, Matt Perdue, the president of a San Antonio Tea Party group, ripped into the group’s treasurer, her husband, and their supporters for conducting a “mass redirection campaign,” apparently to line their own pockets using Tea Party donations.

“Where has all this money gone?” asks Perdue. “If there is nothing wrong going on, why has there not been one single piece of paper produced to back up why people got checks, some for $3,000, $7,400+, $4,000, $10,400+??? Where is the documentation? Why isn’t the cash deposited like it should be? Why did it take more than two weeks to deposit cash from the meetings?”…

Some TPPers expressed concern that the acrimony could damage the movement if exposed. “Daily Kos and other left wing interest groups are going to love running with this story,” wrote one.

Merits appeared to share that concern. “This will go public if we let it drag on long enough and if you don’t think this will have a chilling effect on all Tea Party movements raising funds you are living in a world of fairy dust and gingerbread houses,” he wrote. “Read my previous emails. If this goes on long enough, we all go down – NOT just TPP and TPE – ALL OF US.”

Thanks to Zachary Roth and TPMMuckraker.

I take off my beret to you, Conservative Columbos. I wish I could say it was all a misunderstanding on your part, it was just your indulging a fitful imagination, you and your ‘crazy talk.’ I would have loved to pull out an old chestnut like that one, but, look, you’ve just got us beat.

It’s time that we did what we never, ever do–tell the truth. And that is this: you have us cold. Yes, we did it. We were trying to damage you. We were trying to embarrass you. We were trying to knock down your nation, the United States of America. And, in so doing, we were hiding the shocking truths about our sordid political ambitions and lives from getting out into the world where horrified Americans would recoil at our hanging around, asses stuffed with balloons of heroin, wallets spilling over with kiddie porn and all. But you found us out, and you exposed us, and you put a stop to our best-laid plans to tear this nation apart. We, after poring over the broken pieces, would be assembling Iranian centrifuges with the remains right about now.

But first, there was the “Stop The Charlie Brown Christmas Special and its Christian Wholesomeness” project. As you know, Charles Schulz’s animated transformation of The Living Bible is a ringing endorsement of the Republican Party, so we figured we’d do something about it.

And we did: we contacted the White House to coordinate an attack on its airing. The President himself decided that he’d schedule a needless speech, at some place like West Point, addressing some odd thing like the War in Afghanistan, opposite the cartoon special in order to get the networks to pre-empt it, blacking the Conservative sermon out.

Yeah, but didn’t you see through that quickly? Republican stalwart and not-at-all-ironically named Mayor of Arlington, Tennessee, Russell Wiseman, called it immediately.

“Ok, so, this is total crap, we sit the kids down to watch ‘The Charlie Brown Christmas Special’ and our muslim president is there, what a load…..try to convince me that wasn’t done on purpose. Ask the man if he believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and he will give you a 10 minute disertation about it….w…hen the answer should simply be ‘yes’….”

DAMN YOU, Wiseman, you’re a pest. You Jesus protecting Sonuvabitch. We’d only begun to explore the possibility of staggering the speech’s TV broadcasts across time zones in order to block Charlie Brown nationwide, instead of only on the eastern seaboard. We thought we’d just start by annoying the Peanuts faithful in Tennessee, but Russell was too smart for that. We’ll remember this, buddy.

“…you obama people need to move to a muslim country…oh wait, that’s America….pitiful.”

AAAUUGH–Wiseman again, throwing darts right between our eyes. Yes, we’ve turned your America into a filthy Muslim coven, now, for the love of Saddam, stop mentioning it.

That was bad enough, but then you all figured out this one, too: we have been bastardizing Google. We’ve had our filthy Lucy-diddling fingers all over the innernets’ most famous search engine.

We just couldn’t stand the way you’ve been knocking down our pet projects, one by one, by getting our secrets out on the web. Your writers, pols, and, especially, your bloggers have been frankly too intuitive and too quick for us to handle.

So we knew we had to corrupt the Googly. We called up the proprietors, whoever the hell they are, and told them that searches for popular right-wing terms had to get jerked around from now on. And they said “Well, we are a pioneering internet company, thus, we enjoy the butt sex. Done!”

But only minutes after our “TripleX/Gomorrah/QueryBang 1.0″ program launched, the whole scheme got exposed:

“…So it took an anonymous tipster to set me off on a brewing bit of fraud going in in the Google search service: They are ham-handedly altering the suggested search terms in order to promote a coverup of ‘Climategate.’…

But Google wants us to believe nobody is searching for Climategate despite it being such a big story, but I have evidence that it’s merely a coverup for political purposes.

My evidence is in the behavior of the feature itself. Watch what happens if you type in Climatega, nearly typing in the entire word Climategate:

Well that’s odd. Nobody’s searching for climategate at all. But wait: It’s not showing me words that start with Climatega. Rather, it’s showing me words that start with Climategua. Seems like a bug, right? Like those letters got pointed to the wrong place, almost.

Let’s back it up a letter and type in Climateg…

…still no climategate. Let’s back up another letter:

Well what do we have here? Climate gate scandal.

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How many steps are involved in eventually casting a vote that counts in an election?

There are a few:
1. You must become eligible.
2. You must register.
3. Your eligibility has to be verified.
4. The state must put you on the voter roll.
5. You have to show up to vote.
6. Election officials have to verify your valid voter identity.
7. You have to cast a valid vote.
8. Your vote has to get counted.

Republicans’ satanic Wizards/Nazis, ACORN, are involved with step two. And now, some crazy…

Poll: Majority Of Republicans Think Obama Didn’t Actually Win 2008 Election — ACORN Stole It!

The new national poll from Public Policy Polling (D) has an astonishing number about paranoia among the GOP base: Republicans do not think President Obama actually won the 2008 election — instead, ACORN stole it.

…The poll asked this question: “Do you think that Barack Obama legitimately won the Presidential election last year, or do you think that ACORN stole it for him?” The overall top-line is legitimately won 62%, ACORN stole it 26%.

Among Republicans, however, only 27% say Obama actually won the race, with 52% — an outright majority — saying that ACORN stole it, and 21% are undecided.

Among McCain voters, the breakdown is 31%-49%-20%. By comparison, independents weigh in at 72%-18%-10%, and Democrats are 86%-9%-4%…

Call them idiots, but they’ve got a huge chunk of the electorate believing the whopping lie. This is how you inspire a nation to vote Republican in the midst of brutal, Republican-caused misery.

Liberal Alaska blog pioneer Celtic Diva has been tracking and prodding the dense Governor’s goings-on and has been particularly curious about her ‘palling around’ with cronies. Unfortunately, as with many things in Alaska, the governmental norms stink to hell: it’ll cost our intrepid blogger thousands of dollars for the authorities to release the proper records. So Diva has been holding a fundraiser.

And as part of that, she managed to create a couple of graphics that’d tickle the web funnybone, one of which was this one:

..a picture of Palin with her youngest, but with the face of a rancid right-wing radio yokel photoshopped in. Really funny.

Palin, of course, made a meal of it:

“Recently we learned of a malicious desecration of a photo of the Governor and baby Trig that has become an iconic representation of a mother’s love for a special needs child,” Palin spokeswoman Meghan Stapelton said in a statement provided to CNN. “The mere idea of someone doctoring the photo of a special needs baby is appalling.”

Stapelton also suggested President Obama should speak out against such behavior from liberal activists.

“Babies and children are off limits,” She said. “It is past time to restore decency in politics and real tolerance for all Americans. The Obama Administration sets the moral compass for its party. We ask that special needs children be loved, respected and accepted and that this type of degeneracy be condemned.”

…’desecration‘, incidentally, is defined as: blasphemous behavior; the act of depriving something of its sacred character; “desecration of the Holy Sabbath”.

The narcissistic Governor believes that photos of her children are sacred religious objects. Like the stuff inside those ancient Italian reliquaries, pieces of Noah’s Ark, like that.

Puzzling that the believers weren’t upset last week, or the week before, when some internet wag uploaded this eventually far more widespread image:

It’s probably hard to be consistent when your outrage is manufactured on the spot.

Chatham House Study Definitively Shows Massive Ballot Fraud in Iran’s Reported Results

An authoritative study from Chatham House (pdf) , the renowned UK think tank, finds that with regard to the official statistics on the recent presidential election in Iran released by the Interior Ministry, something is rotten in Tehran. The authors compared the provincial returns in the 2005 and 2009 elections against the 2006 census and found:

The election was stolen. It is there in black and white. Those of us who know Iran, could see it plain as the nose on our faces, even if we could not quantify our reasons as elegantly as Chatham House.

Be nice to see more of this.

h/t Andrew Sullivan.

…here’s a rare source of mainstream media that doesn’t blindly suck.

Please stop this video. Warning: this is an extremely disturbing clip, and it could certainly haunt some of you, so be wary. It shows a woman who has been shot dying a bloody death. Now that you know, you don’t really have to watch. Unfortunately, it’s the reality of what’s been going on in Iran.