Right Wing News blog took it upon themselves last week to poll 100 bloggers from over 40 Conservative sites about American History. ‘Who were the worst Americans of all time?’ they asked. Considering all the warmongers, murderers and rapists we’ve spawned, it might have been a difficult list to compose.

But it rarely pays to overestimate the depth of right-wingers: they made it look easy. The top three slots ended up being American presidents. Democrats, of course.

Above your Benedict Arnolds, Lee Harvey Oswalds and Alger Hisses, the wingnuts put FDR, Barack Obama and — number one — Jimmy Carter as the worst Americans who ever blighted planet Earth.

This did not go well with a lot of folks. Stupefying density rarely does. I mocked the sad little list here. Then I made a mental note to write a few words on the obvious criminals the fools omitted, and then spent all weekend on a lengthy (now annoying) piece I’m putting together on an especially curious right-wing hero (maybe later, if I don’t just chuck it and get on with my life).

So I went back to the original list for this post, but — oops — the post had been deleted. I can’t imagine how pissed off all the college-educated Republicans who jumped onto the lengthy thread must feel. From the definitive pronouncements of web maestros on history’s national disgraces to a vacant webpage. In a matter of a couple days. How sad.

Well, thanks to Google’s cache-ing, this Gem of Historical Analysis, it is not lost. It’s there above, right. You will notice how Conserva-storians, between Richard Nixon and John Wilkes Booth, crammed Jane Fonda, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi. Will anybody remember Pelosi’s name even 10 years from now? Why, yes they will, because she is so very evil. I can’t find Harry Reid’s name in my “Lions of State” rolodex, right now, this moment, as I keep looking back at the list to remind myself, but Senator Kittyclaws has raked a charcoal trough across America. Jane Fonda chokes America’s neck with a surprisingly sturdy and stylish scarf as we speak.

Which brings us to this: How could 100 Americans of any stripe not consider these people?

–Lee Harvey Oswald
–James Earl Ray
–John Hinckley (!)
–Charles Guiteau
–Leon Czolgosz
–Aaron Burr
–Spies like Jonathan Pollard and Robert Hanssen.
–Criminals and gangsters like Jesse James, Al Capone, and Lucky Luciano.
–Serial killers like Ted Bundy and John Wayne Gacy.
–Serial child molesters like Father John Geoghan and Dean Schwartzmiller.
–Sociopaths like Ted Kaczynski, John Muhammad and Lee Malvo.
–Spree shooters like James Huberty, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris.

That’s a robust list of evil people. How did the wingnuts miss all that? Heaven knows.

However, there are two more people that I would nominate. Why these guys didn’t end up on the original, I think, is a little more obvious: these guys are their kinda guys. These two men are still heroes to plenty of the American right wing:

–Joseph McCarthy. A demagogue and political hack first, last and always. Lied about his World War II record to look good to voters. Said he’d flown dozens of missions though he’d flown 12, said he got wounded in battle when it was just a hazing incident, personally forged a ‘letter of commendation’ from Admiral Nimitz. Exploited Cold War hysteria by claiming he had a list of 200 (or 50 or 80) commies in the State Department. Never managed to prove a single one was, in fact, a Soviet plant. Created an atmosphere corrosive and paranoid, and it broke out of the Capitol and ran across the nation. Encouraged Americans to suspect their neighbors and co-workers, changing American life for the worse. Forced innocent people to testify in public hearings seen by millions, upended or ruined scores of careers. Accused anyone who opposed him or his methods, including Edward R. Murrow, of also being Communist. After 4 years of madness, the nation returned to its senses and came to despise the Wisconsin senator. He drank himself to death in less than another 4 years. Right-wingers like to claim he was right about the commies — several reports out of the former USSR showed there may have been 10 or more of his ‘names’ that were colluding with the Soviets. What they fail to realize is that McCarthy almost single-handedly destroyed America’s ability to figure that out. Unchecked rage and paranoia destroy perception and rational thought. ‘McCarthyism’ is still a poisonous pejorative to this day.

–Nathan Bedford Forrest. An unqualified military genius of the Civil War, revolutionizing cavalry tactics and strategy. Brave to the point of crazy. May have been built for war: when only twenty, killed two men and knifed two more in an act of blood revenge. Became a millionaire before the age of forty relying on two things: cotton farming, which the slaves did, and the buying and selling of commodities — his slaves. Joined the Confederacy, killed 30 men during the War. Refused to accept the surrender of dozens of mostly black Union soldiers at Fort Pillow, resulting in a massacre. While even letters from his soldiers bore the massacre’s fact out, he refused to acknowledge it, to his death. After the War, became the first Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, legitimizing America’s greatest and longest-lived terrorist organization. Stripped of his slaves, unable to continue his previous businesses, he ran a railroad and bankrupted it. Ran a prison. Became a great hero to the South after his death, spawning Forrest City, Arkansas, Forrest County, Mississippi, Nathan Bedford Forrest State Park in Tennessee, and the state’s naming July 13 “Nathan Bedford Forrest Day.” A bust of Nathan sits in the Tennessee State Capitol to this day. He’s an emblem of the sweet and sour nature of the memories of the Civil War and the South’s still wounded pride: a great warrior, but a horribly flawed American. Tennessee chooses to embrace Nathan as a “Defender of the South.” He defended a helluva lot more than that.

If you aren’t familiar with the inner workings of cuckoo clocks, well, here’s your chance. No need for the coke bottle specs, these boing-ed springs and toothless gears merely lie around, here on the internetz.

Here’s the question: who are or were the worst Americans? Like Hitler, for Germany. The USSR’s Stalin. Rome’s Caligula, Romania’s Vlad the Impaler. Nancy’s Spike, Tommy’s wicked Uncle Ernie: yuck.

Who are our worst citizens? Well, wouldn’t we like to know? Especially when the undisputed Top Guns of American History — CONSERVATIVE BLOGGERS — are the judges? Hell, yeah, I’d like to know because I could always use a good laugh.

Right Wing News did the polling:

Conservative Bloggers Select The 25 Worst Figures In American History
August 13, 2010

Out of all the gangsters, serial killers, mass murderers, incompetent & crooked politicians, spies, traitors, and ultra left-wing kooks in all of American history — have you ever wondered who the worst of the worst was? Well, we here at RWN wondered about that, too, and that’s why we decided to email more than a hundred bloggers to get their opinions.

Did and done.

Okay, ready for some highlights? Here we go:

–Number 23: Hillary Clinton. Former First Lady and Senator from New York. Current U.S. Secretary of State. What damage has she done to the United States? Not sure. The White House and the state of New York seem to have recovered. Maybe she’s doing something awful right now? Maybe we should scan the news.

–Number 19: Michael Moore. Moviemaker. He makes movies. Popular movies.

–Number 13 (tie): Richard Nixon. Illegally bombed Cambodia (ushering in the Khmer Rouge), refused to end Johnson’s deadly war (until later), carried out Kissinger’s literally mega-murderous Central and South American foreign policies, broke into the Democratic national headquarters to steal an election, broke into the office of the psychologist of a political enemy to destroy him, conspired to cover up multiple crimes, fired the special prosecutor looking into the allegations, generally subverted the government for political gain. Lied to the American people without end or shame. Destroyed Americans’ faith in government. Resigned in disgrace.

–Number 13 (tie): Nancy Pelosi. First female Speaker of the House, serving 3 years and 7 months. Sought to pass Democratic legislation. Seeks to pass Democratic legislation.

–Number 11: John Wilkes Booth. Giant Wingnut. Assassinated probably the greatest American in history, the Great Emancipator, the man who saved the union, Abraham Lincoln. Threw American politics into disarray, leading to the impeachment of Andrew Johnson and the disastrous, thoroughly corrupted Presidency of U.S. Grant.

–Number 9: Timothy McVeigh. Not just America’s Worst Terrorist, one of the world’s worst terrorists. 168 dead, including 19 children.

–Number 7: Lyndon Johnson. Vietnam. And Vietnam and Vietnam. Used an imaginary skirmish, the Gulf of Tonkin incident, to start a war. 57,000 Americans dead, maybe as many as 2,000,000 Vietnamese in addition. Aaaaaannnnnd . . . cut! The Civil Rights Act of 1964? The Voting Rights Act of 1965? The WAR ON POVERTY!?!? AAAUUGGHH!

–Number 4: Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. American Commies. Spies. Well, Julius was. Passed on nuclear secrets to the Soviets. Probably. Both executed.

–Number 2: Barack Obama. U.S. President from January of last year to the present, 19 months. Umm . . healthcare reform? Nobel Peace Prize? The War in — oh, he didn’t start that. The War in — nope, not that one either. The Great Recession? Nopey nope. Yes, he’s got to be the second worst American in over two centuries. Still, he’s no . .

–Number 1: Jimmy Carter. Another of the Nobel committee’s devils. Evil incarnate. The Simpsons encapsulated the neon nightmare of pestilence and plague that Carter wrought upon the nation with these two words: Malaise Forever. His most disastrous policy would be . . ? I’m drawing a blank on Carter policies. Any of his policies. The whackos executed Ethel Rosenberg, just think of what they’d like to do to Jimmy. Better sneak up on him, Lucifer Himself is often swinging a hammer putting up houses for the poor.

Well, there you have it. And Good Golly.

But they seem to have skipped over quite a few thoroughly detestable Americans. Many of the Conservative ilk, perhaps? Don’t ya think? I do. More later.

Bhruic 3 hours ago

John Wilkes Booth as one of the worst Americans? His only mistake was that he was 4 years late.
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Gbvic 2 hours ago in reply to Bhruic

ahmen brother.
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Bildo 3 hours ago in reply to Bhruic

Liberal troll?
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Bhruic 2 hours ago in reply to Bildo

Classical liberal? Sure. Troll? Not so much.
Abe was less faithful to the constitution than any other president in American history. He is responsible for the deaths of a few hundred thousand human beings because he wanted to collect tariffs from southern ports, not to free the slaves. Lincoln was a tyrant that has been deified by revisionist historians.

Big Scoop! *yawn* Walter Cronkite was targeted by soviet propagandists! That’s commie operatives! To do what, no one knows! Something dastardly! SOVIET PROPAGANDISTS! Blargle!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010
INTELLIGENCE BRIEFING
‘Most trusted man’, Walter Cronkite, was named a Soviet target by the FBI
By Cliff Kincaid, Accuracy in Media

The late CBS Evening News anchorman Walter Cronkite is named in a just-released FBI document from 1986 as being targeted in a Soviet “active measures” campaign against President Reagan’s anti-communist foreign policy. Cronkite is named as a possible member of a U.S. delegation that would sign a pro-Soviet “People’s Peace Treaty.”

Named as a possible member! Because they wanted him! A member! The FBI filed names! Soviets!

Cronkite, once known as “the most trusted man in television news” because of his influence during the time when three network news programs dominated the national dissemination of news and information, bears a great deal of responsibility for the American military defeat in Vietnam and the communist conquest of that Southeast Asian country.

Sure. For the first few years, he never said a word to oppose the brutal war or its government cheerleaders, but when he finally did, that was pretty sneaky. Cuz’ America had been doing so well, and the government had not been lying, and victory was in sight exactly as it had been for the previous 1,000 days in a row. Also, American citizens never followed any news about the war because its sons and uncles weren’t fighting and dying in it, and its families weren’t ripped apart by the carnage for any reason anyone could recall at all.

Everybody knew the Cronkite bastard was unpatriotic, y’know?

First, they were enraged that William Ayers and Angela Davis were allowed access to the White House: “…wake up america!!!!.” Then, when it turned out they’d just been quicker to the out-rage than the double-check, that the names did not correlate to the hideous criminals they’d thought–well, that was just too much. When Obama goes that far out of his way to plan to fool (successfully!) the legendary right-wing bloggers of whatever this site is called, the President simply must resign:

Breaking News: William Ayers, Angela Davis, and George Soros Among Visitors To Obama’s White House

From Rumcrook:

wake up america!!!! obama is a radical! white house guest list reveals just how radical he is!

“You are unlikely to find a sorrier rogues gallery than Obama’s guest list!

Did you ever wonder who were the folks who got all those special invites to the White House since the Obama’s turned it into party central? The White House released the list. Here are some highlights…

• Two visits by William Ayers, the Weatherman terrorist whose group bombed the Pentagon and who said he wished he had done more. Remember Obama told us all that Ayers was “just some guy in the neighborhood” back in Chicago. What a liar!
• Two visits by Angela Davis, former Communist Party candidate for Vice President and found innocent of kidnapping and murder of a judge.
• Four visits by failed Presidential hopeful John Edwards. No word on whether he shared grooming tips with Obama.

Oh-HO! GOOD one, very timely.

• Five visits by Steve Elmendorf, head of the Congressional Budget Office. Wonder if Obama was doing some arm twisting to get CBO to whitewash the Dem’s health care plans?

I can’t think of a single reason why the head of the CBO would ever need to meet with the White House. Geniuses. The list of devils goes on and on. When someone points out, in the comments, that Rumcrook might want to ‘check your facts,’ he retorts:

says you sockpuppet.

you pull your “fact” out of your ass because your trying to protect zero.

where as these facts come straight from the white house.

Ouch. Apparently, any old name is as good a fact as any other.

And to the guy who posted the mistake, Pastorius, any old mistake on his part is as good as any presidential crime. Because the outrage isn’t any more that Ayers and the like were allowed in, because they weren’t, because some of the people who visited the White House just had the same names as Conservative bogeymen, it was that the President planned the thing to embarrass wingnut bloggers, which it did.

‘We’re on to you now, Mr. President,’ they said. ‘For that, it’s time for you to resign…’

UPDATE AND BUMPED: Apparently, Allahpundit and Ace of Spades are both reporting that this story is not true.

It is not that it is not true. Instead, the fact is, Obama released 300 names out of 100,000 who have gone through the doors of the White House. Some transparency.

This is all a headfake by Barack Hussein Obama to make Conservatives look stupid. Great job, Barack, but I’m not buying your bullshit.

Let’s look at what MSNBC has to say about the information release:

…The White House warns that many names that may appear familiar — and controversial — do not in fact refer to the most famous people to carry those names. Jeremiah Wright is on the list, but it’s not the president’s former pastor. This Michael Jordan is not the basketball player. This Michael Moore is not a filmmaker. The William Ayers who took a group tour of the White House isn’t the former radical from Chicago who figured so prominently in the 2008 campaign. And the Angela Davis on the list has a different middle initial than the activist and former fugitive.

The White House could have avoided some of that sort of confusion by providing more information on the visitors, such as an employer name and the city they hail from. For example, is the Shawn Carter who attended a poetry reading the same one who goes by Jay-Z and had campaigned for Obama?

“This unprecedented level of transparency can sometimes be confusing rather than providing clear information,” a White House special counsel, Norm Eisen, wrote on the White House blog.

Well, isn’t that cute.

Fuck, Barack Hussein Obama. He is just a liar. So, the William Ayers they released is not that William Ayers.

THAT DOESN’T TELL US ANYTHING.

Barack Hussein Obama is just being a class smart-ass with this maneuver. It is such a transparent practical joke. It is childish behavior for a sitting President of the United States, supposedly the most powerful man in the world.

When, oh when, will the Democratic Party finally come to their senses and demand that this man resign from office?

We should hide your embarrassment? Really? This is how politics works?

Bill Ayers Visited The White House January 27
UPDATED WITH CORRECTION
October 30, 2009 / 4:06 pm • By Dr. Melissa Clouthier

I am Melissa Clouthier

Yes. He. Did:

No. He. Didn’t.

I wish I were making this up.

Moron.

UPDATED:

Moron.

So, upon further inspection, it looks like it was a different William Ayers.

Update: Turns out there’s more than one William Ayers in the third biggest country in the world.

But a guy named George Soros was there eight times and I don’t know too many of those.

BWAH-HA–you gotta be kidding me

And an Andy Stern was there 22 times.

BWAH-HA-HA

Granted, that’s a common name, too.

BWAH-HA-HA-HA

John Boehner was there once. David Petreaus is notably absent.

Hoo!