Why do right-wingers demand to be lied to?

Glenn Beck this weekend: “I know that many in this country think that I’m a fear-monger. It is not a . . it is not a label that, I think, applies . .”

Glenn Beck previously:

–“I think what’s coming is horrific. I don’t even want to speak it out loud . .”

–“I can tell you there will be rivers of blood . .”

–“Are we headed for a one-world government . .”

–“A global economic holocaust is coming . .”

–“It’s September the Eleventh all over again, except we didn’t have the collapsing buildings . .”

–“If you haven’t done your homework yet — what is it going to take? I urge you to catch up on it, and catch up on it fast. It’s kind of important, for a couple of reasons. One . . uhh . . the whole end of time thing . .”

Ah, yes, the end of time. It’s on Obama’s agenda.

All Glenn Beck’s ever done to become one of the biggest and richest media figures in this country is lie from the minute he gets on camera to the second the credits roll. Now that he wants to be a civil rights leader, ushering a radical new era in American history, all he did this weekend was lie some more, including lying very obviously about his lying.

Why do right wingers want and need to be lied to? My father, a right-winger, who passed away a few years ago, had a life-long friend of his we’ll call Jim. Jim is the salt of the earth. He would never lie to you in almost any reasonable circumstance, I can’t fathom it. As a businessman, he carries the same reputation he does in private life, not a dishonest bone in his body.

But as soon as politics comes up, he can’t stand to listen to anybody who isn’t lying to him: Limbaughs and Hannitys and such. When he brings up one of their gems of ‘truth’ while around me, and I’m in the mood to shoot it down (he’s an awfully nice man, after all), he’s genuinely shocked that it might not be true.

That contrast is so stark, it’s shocking really. You’d have to torture the guy to get him to lie, and yet, of politics, he would never apply even a wisp of that behavioral standard to the media figures he trusts.

I mention this to point out how people get and indulge their politics, especially those on the right: it is a drug. It provides the sort of visceral reaction or catharsis that a decent drug would. For them, the veracity of a political thing is secondary — the primary thing is the buzz it delivers.

So your Glenn Becks are the biggest drug dealers, they deliver the best shit. They know how to distill their message so that just a little bit of it goes a very long way. And that’s why they’re all filthy rich, too, like a bunch of drug dealers. There is a hungry, jones-ing market for political smack, and the Bill O’Reillys will deliver as long as they’re able. If you can deliver the high, you get rewarded with power.

Which brings me to this, the President’s interview with Brian Williams:

“I can’t spend all my time with my birth certificate plastered on my forehead,” Mr. Obama told NBC’s Brian Williams in an interview in New Orleans. “The facts are the facts. And so, it’s not something that I can I think spend all my time worrying about. And I don’t think the American people want me to spend all my time worrying about it.”

He’s wrong there, I think.

A CBS News poll conducted in April found that 20 percent of Americans believe the president was born outside of the United States. Those numbers rise among self-identified Republicans and Tea Partiers. Mr. Obama was born in Hawaii. Meanwhile, a Pew Research Center poll released earlier this month showed that 18 percent of Americans incorrectly said they think Mr. Obama is Muslim. Another 43 percent said they didn’t know the president’s religion, while just 34 percent correctly said he is a Christian.

I can’t imagine a whole fifth of the country buying outrageous lies about any Republican president. Obama is wrong to believe that it’s only silly ridiculousness. Huge sections of the country are walking around with heads full of Glenn Beck’s Terrorist Purple Haze. At some point, as it is with any drug that distorts perception and reality, if enough people are under the influence, bad things will happen.

You can’t seriously believe this has no deleterious effects upon the political environment and the tenor of the times. When one side of the country believes things wildly untrue and is getting very well rewarded for doing so, viscerally and psychologically, you are setting the nation up for some serious stress at some point. You may even be headed towards violence. You can’t ignore so many people and think it will help you, as a President or a nation, in the long run.

As the first seriously contending Black presidential candidate, you may have been able to run by ignoring the lunatics on the right, but you’re the President now. You’ve got to attend to the whole nation. If you don’t start seriously pushing back at these caustic lies, you’re running a dangerous course for everybody involved.

What the hell is wrong with these people?

Pastor says armed militia to protect church during Quran-burning event
CNN Wire Staff | August 24, 2010 10:47 p.m. EDT

(CNN) — An armed Christian organization, Right Wing Extreme, will protect a church that is planning to host an “International Burn a Quran Day” on September 11, the church’s pastor said Tuesday.

The Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida, says it is hosting the event to remember 9/11 victims and to take a stand against Islam. With promotions on its website and Facebook page, the nondenominational church invites Christians to burn the Muslim holy book.

Dove’s Facebook page, set up for the September event, has nearly 6,000 fans. The initiative has also drawn critics.

Dove World Outreach Center Pastor Terry Jones has accepted the support of Right Wing Extreme, which he said offered to come to the church with between 500 and 2,000 men on September 11. He described the organization as an armed civilian militia group . .

This is beyond the normal hysteria and bigotry. This has become some sort of nasty zeitgeist.

Strange thing that it’s all happening now — 9 years after 9/11. Now they’ve gone anti-Muslim batshit. They sure weren’t acting this badly during the Bush administrations, it’s very curious.

There has to be a reason for everybody wigging out right now. Like there’s something, I don’t know, in the air.

Some sort of black cloud hanging over people. A dark, mysterious threat. Something inking its way into the tissues of some folks’ reactionary brains.

And it gnaws at them and won’t let go. Perhaps something odd and out of place, like a stain. One that — even after months, or years — won’t go away.

Hmm. I wonder what it is . . .

And so the In Some Proximity to Ground Zero Community Center and Swimming Pool protests continue, and I know what you’re thinking. Yeh, c’mon, I have no clue what you’re thinking, but just play along.

You’re thinking, ‘What does Jonah Goldberg think about all this?’ And this is where the rest of us say ‘GOOD ONE,’ and we tousle your hair a bit and buy you a couple of beers. Oh, you.

Islamophobia? Not really
The supposed anti-Muslim backlash among Americans is mostly a myth.
ByJonah Goldberg | August 24, 2010

I’m shocked — shocked! — that Jonah didn’t read the previous Tn’W entry where I posted a video of protesters closing in on a man who looked an awful lot like a Muslim.

Aside: What was that New York carpenter thinking? Looking like a Muslim? Just think if he’d actually been a Muslim, he could have caused an unsightly scene.

Nor did Jonah read Newt Gingrich’s comments equating American Muslims to thoughtless WWII Nazis and Japanese soldiers. The backlash ain’t no myth.

Nonetheless, there Jonah goes . .

Here’s a thought: The 70% of Americans who oppose what amounts to an Islamic Niketown two blocks from ground zero are the real victims of a climate of hate, and anti-Muslim backlash is mostly a myth . .

Hoo BOY. Two wholly crazy ideas piled on top of each other. It’s the ‘Americans who oppose’ the community center who ‘are the real victims of a cliimate of hate.’

When the New York bigots are called ‘bigots,’ it’s a sad day in America. Pity those islander rank and file with an honest, hate-felt opinion. Pity a startled but soldiering truth-teller, for America, Dick Morris:

National Review asks a stupid question: whither the Burqa? That Muslim garment thingie that no right-winger knows absolutely anything about? Don’t we want to know?

'Ban It!' Berlinski

This is the sort of high-falutin’ assholery normal folks avoid. Sooooo, they asked the Istanbul-living Claire Berlinski to come up with an argument for their little scold-zine. This is what she wrote:

Ban the Burqa
August 2, 2010 4:00 A.M. | Claire Berlinski
‘To do so is an offense to liberty; not to do so is a greater one’

Great start. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I can’t think of a context in which this opening argument a.) makes sense and b.) isn’t butt-stupid. That’s a self-negating argument I used in high school to try to look deep.

I spoke to many women who described veiling themselves as an uncoerced act of faith . . Why had she decided to cover herself? I asked . . She began veiling to affirm her connection with the Ineffable. “Every time I look in the mirror,” she said, “I see a religious woman looking back. It reminds me that I’ve chosen to have a particular kind of relationship with God.”

Fine. It’s a legitimate expression of faith. It’s religious freedom.

. . But that was when I could still visit the neighborhood of Balat without being called a whore.

Look out, the worm turns. This is quite unexpected given the subject matter and the National Review. And if Claire has been accosted by Muslim assholes, well, that’s relevant. That changes the whole everything.

. . the burqa must be banned . .

If Europe does not stand up now against veiling — and the conception of women and their place in society that it represents — within a generation there will be many cities in Europe where no unveiled woman will walk comfortably or safely.

Finally we get to the brass tacks, and they’re recycled barbed wire. No woman in Barcelona, in Berlin, in Brussels will walk safely. Why? Well, the Muslims are gerbil-humping their way to a majority — there will soon be no way of stopping them from doing as they please. (It’s already pretty difficult, y’know?) If we don’t change them now we won’t be able to change them later. And you’ve seen what they’re like, The Dirty Bearded Horde. All the free women will become hounded foreigners, getting Qurans hucked at their Toyotas while just driving down to the Frogurt Ka-Boom! on the corner.

Unless it is stopped, the natural tendency of this practice is to spread, for veiling is a political symbol as well as a religious one, and that symbol is of a dynamic, totalitarian ideology that has set its sights on Europe and will not be content until every woman on the planet is humbled, submissive, silent, and enslaved.

The Soviets! The Yellow Horde! The Jew Bankers!

It is probably best that the burqa be banned immediately on “security” grounds, even if we all know deep down that the case is spurious; for such a ban to make perfect sense, it would have to extend to all loose clothing, suitcases, capacious handbags, beer bellies, and shoes.

Well, then, we should do it, except for the last part. That stuff would affect Claire, which would be silly. Claire is harmless, after all.

Yet in some cases, hypocrisy is the least awful of options; bans thus justified may be the best way of expressing a society’s entirely legitimate revulsion without setting a dangerous precedent of legislating against a targeted religious group.

A virtual ban? That’s a new one. If you enforce a law that targets a religious group, but you admit you’re being hypocritical, then it doesn’t count. Except, y’know, legally, with the police and the penalties and the jail stuff. And now nobody can ever enact such an un-American thing again, even though we’ve now agreed that our principles belong in our pockets, and where the hell did I put my pants? That’s how a truly just society operates: by pretending to know better.

Claire Berlinski is a goat-blowing farm girl, but that’s not a particularly proper thing to say, and I’m not the type of guy to say it.

Just how scummy can a guy get?

NO — not wingnut blogger Debbie Schlussel. This other guy.

Andrew Warren acted as our Algerian CIA Station Chief in 2007 and 2008. But while he was there, this animal drugged and raped at least two Algerian women. He pleaded guilty Monday to sexual assault and could be sentenced to 10 years in jail.

There are elements of this brutal tale that certainly make for a lurid and narcissistic story: Andrew was your vaunted ‘rising star’ at the CIA, speaking 6 Arabic dialects as well as Farsi, was an expert in martial arts, and had been posted in Egypt, Afghanistan, and New York before getting the top job in Algiers.

And, back in 2002, he wrote a terrorism-thriller novel in which the Algerian embassy gets saved from terrorist obliteration by the heroic Nick, a bad-ass martial arts American Consul guy. (It was not well-received.)

I bother to tell you this story because a knee-jerk like Schlussel will go waaay out of her way to tell you this story, but with her own predictable inflection.

Nothing about this troubled, complicated scumbag seems to matter much to Deborah Furor-Fuhrer except a certain single thing. I will conveniently leave it out for a reveal — not that that will be much dramatic given her laser-like focus on the Singularity Of All Evil we’ve been faced with, Schlussel-wise. But just for fun, all the same.

OK, back to the crime:

According to the affidavit, a second alleged victim told a similar story, saying Warren met her at the U.S. embassy and invited her for a “tour of his home” where she said he prepared an apple martini for her “out of her sight.”

The second victim said she suddenly felt faint and went to the bathroom where “V2 [victim 2] could see and hear, but she could not move,” the affidavit says . .

The alleged victim said she remembers being in Warren’s bed and asking him to stop, but that “Warren made a statement to the effect of ‘nobody stays in my expensive sheets with clothes on.’” She told investigators “as she slipped in and out of consciousness she had conscious images of Warren penetrating her vagina repeatedly with his penis.”

The second victim told investigators she sent Warren a text message accusing him of abusing her and he replied, “I am sorry,” the affidavit says.

They complained, and he was caught, ordered back to America and charged with rape. April of this year:

A person close to Warren told ABC News that State Department officials began searching for Warren 11 days ago after he missed a routine pre-trial appearance and could not be found. “His phones were shut off, and none of his family or friends had heard from him,” the person told ABC News.

Warren, 42, was located after federal law enforcement officers reached out to his friends and family, warning them that they were concerned for Warren’s safety and believed he was armed and consuming crack cocaine. He was arrested by local police, U.S. Marshals and the State Department’s Diplomatic Security Service at a Norfolk, Virginia Ramada Limited hotel late Monday. He was taken by law enforcement officials to a local hospital.

On a drug binge and carrying a handgun, they found Andrew and took him in. His life is pretty much over.

On a flip side, Debbie’s life has barely begun — yay! — because the thrilling threat is everywhere. And we are sooooo stoopid.

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How to Get Blood out of a Burka
by Susan Dale
05/18/2010

The hits from this White House just keep coming:

“Fulfilling his commitment made last year in Cairo to help deepen ties between business leaders, foundations and entrepreneurs in the United States and Muslim communities around the world, President Obama today kicked off a two-day Entrepreneurship Summit in Washington, DC. ‘We will bring business and social entrepreneurs from Muslim-majority countries to the United States and send their American counterparts to learn from your countries’” . .

This is at the same time that the American business intern program has been abolished by the Obama Administration.

This is at the same time that Israeli nuclear scientists are denied entry into the United States.

This is at the same time that our soldiers in the two fronts of the war on terror are being shot at by Iranian and Syrian supported Islamist terrorists.

And the United States of America is paying to send our children to Islamic countries TO LEARN?

To LEARN WHAT?

How to CHOP THE HEADS off our baby children? How to CRAM CAR BOMBS up the asses of our CHRISTIAN TEENS while they SLEEP? How to kill, gut and SKIN OUR ARMY SOLDIERS, sewing them into effeminate handbags for their WIVES to SNEAK AK47s pass the War Department BORDER PATROL? So they can STAB ME AT THE PANERA? No way.

“You hAmericans are so styoopid”, that’s what they’d say. “I hAm hA Islamist. You, you hAmericans are ha styoopid, you late me hout of yoor haGuamtAlamo, so now I ham ha free-radikell Islamist. Now I can haBoink hall my wayives so they have children, so they harrrr born-free-radikell Islamist. I keeel you. We keeel you. hAllah my family hand hAckbar. He keeel you too. haEVERYBODY I know, they KEEEL you.”

See?

If you’re the type to suspect that wingnuts might welcome terrorist attacks, then this crap is right up your alley. Doug Giles and his teenage outrage can barely contain themselves.

There’s been a terrorist attack. OF COURSE! The jerk was a Muslim? PBBBBT!! YA THINK!?!? BWAH HA LIBBRULS!!!!!

Giles will never be more in his element:

On this Jesus website, it’s perfectly fine to characterize other folks as religious unibrows. Scott Roeder drove across part of a continent to shoot and kill Dr. Tiller in church, where his wife was sitting, but he’s no “Christian unibrow.” Yitzhak Rabin was assassinated by right-winger Yigal Amir, but he’s no “unibrow Jew.”

We re-wrote movies? Or ‘movie news’?

He’s a woman! Totally good one! You burned him, I bet he’s watching.

done

What’s a word for ‘beyond preposterous’? Preposterousest? Preposterousisimo?

How do I fairly describe the emerging right-wing meme that the Times Square bomber, Pakistani Faisal Shahzad, was a liberal? Correspondingly, he was goaded by the reckless left-wing media? I’m currently at a loss for appropriate language for the charges.

A Muslim terrorist sympathetic to the Pakistani Taliban, who have been attacked and killed in drone strikes? Fine, okay. But a liberal? You wingnuts have lost the remnants of what once were minds:

So if this guy seeks revenge for the killing of Pakistani Muslims, that’s not the point? What’s important is how much he hated Bush? That’s what makes him a liberal, rrrriiiiiggghht. You idiots have just thrown the 9/11 hijackers into the Democratic party.

I’m gonna go hog wild here and say he’s actually a Conservative. Why? Because it’s a safe bet he hates Barack Obama. No real reason for it, he just does.

March 14, 2010

Barack Obama, former CIA agent
By Deanna Spingola

I recently had the pleasure of talking with Dr. James David Manning who has been ministering to the people of Harlem since 1981 . .

Actual bio quote: 'Deanna Spingola has been a quilt designer and is the author of two books.'

Dr. Manning heads the Columbia Obama Treason Trial which is scheduled for May 14-19, 2010 at the ATLAH building at 38 West 123rd Street in ATLAH, New York, 10027 . .

The CIA needed Muslims or others who were fluent in Farsi and who could easily blend into the Muslim environment in the Middle East. The CIA persuaded Columbia University to extend their foreign student program to Obama, now a Columbia student, so that he might travel to Pakistan and enroll in the universities around Karachi in addition to the Patrice Lumumba School in Moscow . .

Obama, as an undercover agent, was the lead agent in the arms and money supply for the CIA-trained Taliban Army against the Soviet Army war machine. His actions were integral to the Taliban’s success in their opposition to the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. Obama, it is publicly acknowledged, went to Pakistan in 1981. There is no way of knowing how often Obama traveled between Pakistan and Russia. According to Dr. Manning, Obama was an interpreter for the CIA during the war in Afghanistan. When Obama completed his CIA operations in the mid 1980s and returned to the U.S. he persuaded the State Department to maneuver his entrance into Harvard Law School . .

The jig is up, Obama is a narcissist and a secret Muslim. Why? Because he seeks to remake logos of our government agencies to suit his own tastes, to look like amalgams of his beloved campaign logo and the Islamic star and crescent. Teh teh stupid:

US Missile Defense Agency Changes Logo to Obama~Islamic Crescent Hybrid!

I will never state that Obama is a Muslim, until I see him on his knees praying to Allah, but even if he is not the results would be basically the same. He is as pro-Islamic as they come and this symbol is a disgrace to America, as it is a hybrid of an Obama-Islamic crescent symbol. We are in serious trouble my friends!

Why would Obama do this? Is he completely obsessed with semiotics and propaganda? Does he want to punk the government by graffiti-ing it with Islamic symbols? Has he decided to change the whole of the United States and started with logos, patches and decals?

Who cares, Frank Gaffney is dumb:

Can This Possibly Be True? New Obama Missile Defense Logo Includes A Crescent
by Frank Gaffney

The Obama administration’s determined effort to reduce America’s missile defense capabilities initially seemed to be just standard Leftist fare — of a piece with the Democratic base’s visceral hostility to the idea of protecting us against ballistic missile threats. A just-unveiled symbolic action suggests, however, that something even more nefarious is afoot . .

Now, thanks to an astute observation by Christopher Logan of the Logans Warning blog, we have another possible explanation for behavior that — in the face of rapidly growing threats posed by North Korean, Iranian, Russian, Chinese and others’ ballistic missiles — can only be described as treacherous and malfeasant: Team Obama’s anti-anti-missile initiatives are not simply acts of unilateral disarmament of the sort to be expected from an Alinsky acolyte. They seem to fit an increasingly obvious and worrying pattern of official U.S. submission to Islam and the theo-political-legal program the latter’s authorities call Shariah.

How do you respond to something so fucking stupid? I can’t even begin. How can anyone have a dialogue with these lunatics?

Watch this space as we identify and consider various, ominous and far more clear-cut acts of submission to Shariah by President Obama and his team. Readers are encouraged to offer examples of their own to info@securefreedom.org.

Maybe it’s hard to write a decent bill when you can’t see past your pointy hat and fluffy white robe. Maybe that cross you were burning for Winter heat has gone out, and it’s just too cold not be a xenophobic dolt.

Whatever the reason, Gresham Barrett has uncorked a bill so god-damned dumb, it’s actually pretty funny. Here’s his press release:

WASHINGTON, DC—Today, Congressman J. Gresham Barrett (SC-03) announced that in response to recent failures in national security, he will update and reintroduce the Stop Terrorists Entry Program Act, which he originally authored back in 2003. The STEP Act of 2010 amends the Immigration and Nationality Act to bar admission of aliens from countries that have strong ties to terrorist regimes and also from the terrorist detainee facility in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

He’s outraged at President Obama’s inability to protect Americans. And who could blame him, what with the hundreds of terrorist attacks and the thousands of corpses choking off our streets? Well, specifically, who could blame him after those two Muslim incidents, the ones that really stick in his craw: Nidal Hasan’s shooting up Fort Hood and Umar Farouk Adulmutallab’s trying to bomb the Northwest flight into Detroit? Somebody, please, do something…

“While President Obama may have declared an end to the War on Terror, it is clear our enemies did not get the message. Twice in the past two months, radical Islamic terrorists have attacked our nation and the Administration has failed to adapt its national security and immigration policies to counter the renewed resolve of those who seek to harm our citizens . . .

“In light of these unfortunate facts, I intend to introduce legislation that will enhance our national security through common sense changes to our current immigration laws. The STEP Act of 2010 bars the admission of aliens from countries designated as State Sponsors of Terrorism as well as Yemen to the United States . . .”

The State Department has indentified (sic) the following states as sponsors of terrorism: Cuba, Iran, Sudan and Syria. Given recent reports of increased levels of terrorist activities in Yemen, Congressman Barrett has requested that its citizens not be allowed to enter the United States.

So citizens of Cuba, Iran, Sudan, Syria and Yemen would be barred from entry or deported if they’re already here. Well, so much for The Great America rescuing people from violence and oppression. Hey you, huddled masses, yearning to breathe free–beat it. I can’t even begin to imagine how many rabid right-wing Cubans will get tossed out. And that’s only if Florida’s got a pretty well-armed and willing National Guard.

The best part of this idiot’s anti-Muslim gambit? Hasan, the American, and Mutallab, the Nigerian, wouldn’t have come within a mile of being touched by Barrett’s brilliant law.

I take off my beret to you, Conservative Columbos. I wish I could say it was all a misunderstanding on your part, it was just your indulging a fitful imagination, you and your ‘crazy talk.’ I would have loved to pull out an old chestnut like that one, but, look, you’ve just got us beat.

It’s time that we did what we never, ever do–tell the truth. And that is this: you have us cold. Yes, we did it. We were trying to damage you. We were trying to embarrass you. We were trying to knock down your nation, the United States of America. And, in so doing, we were hiding the shocking truths about our sordid political ambitions and lives from getting out into the world where horrified Americans would recoil at our hanging around, asses stuffed with balloons of heroin, wallets spilling over with kiddie porn and all. But you found us out, and you exposed us, and you put a stop to our best-laid plans to tear this nation apart. We, after poring over the broken pieces, would be assembling Iranian centrifuges with the remains right about now.

But first, there was the “Stop The Charlie Brown Christmas Special and its Christian Wholesomeness” project. As you know, Charles Schulz’s animated transformation of The Living Bible is a ringing endorsement of the Republican Party, so we figured we’d do something about it.

And we did: we contacted the White House to coordinate an attack on its airing. The President himself decided that he’d schedule a needless speech, at some place like West Point, addressing some odd thing like the War in Afghanistan, opposite the cartoon special in order to get the networks to pre-empt it, blacking the Conservative sermon out.

Yeah, but didn’t you see through that quickly? Republican stalwart and not-at-all-ironically named Mayor of Arlington, Tennessee, Russell Wiseman, called it immediately.

“Ok, so, this is total crap, we sit the kids down to watch ‘The Charlie Brown Christmas Special’ and our muslim president is there, what a load…..try to convince me that wasn’t done on purpose. Ask the man if he believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and he will give you a 10 minute disertation about it….w…hen the answer should simply be ‘yes’….”

DAMN YOU, Wiseman, you’re a pest. You Jesus protecting Sonuvabitch. We’d only begun to explore the possibility of staggering the speech’s TV broadcasts across time zones in order to block Charlie Brown nationwide, instead of only on the eastern seaboard. We thought we’d just start by annoying the Peanuts faithful in Tennessee, but Russell was too smart for that. We’ll remember this, buddy.

“…you obama people need to move to a muslim country…oh wait, that’s America….pitiful.”

AAAUUGH–Wiseman again, throwing darts right between our eyes. Yes, we’ve turned your America into a filthy Muslim coven, now, for the love of Saddam, stop mentioning it.

That was bad enough, but then you all figured out this one, too: we have been bastardizing Google. We’ve had our filthy Lucy-diddling fingers all over the innernets’ most famous search engine.

We just couldn’t stand the way you’ve been knocking down our pet projects, one by one, by getting our secrets out on the web. Your writers, pols, and, especially, your bloggers have been frankly too intuitive and too quick for us to handle.

So we knew we had to corrupt the Googly. We called up the proprietors, whoever the hell they are, and told them that searches for popular right-wing terms had to get jerked around from now on. And they said “Well, we are a pioneering internet company, thus, we enjoy the butt sex. Done!”

But only minutes after our “TripleX/Gomorrah/QueryBang 1.0″ program launched, the whole scheme got exposed:

“…So it took an anonymous tipster to set me off on a brewing bit of fraud going in in the Google search service: They are ham-handedly altering the suggested search terms in order to promote a coverup of ‘Climategate.’…

But Google wants us to believe nobody is searching for Climategate despite it being such a big story, but I have evidence that it’s merely a coverup for political purposes.

My evidence is in the behavior of the feature itself. Watch what happens if you type in Climatega, nearly typing in the entire word Climategate:

Well that’s odd. Nobody’s searching for climategate at all. But wait: It’s not showing me words that start with Climatega. Rather, it’s showing me words that start with Climategua. Seems like a bug, right? Like those letters got pointed to the wrong place, almost.

Let’s back it up a letter and type in Climateg…

…still no climategate. Let’s back up another letter:

Well what do we have here? Climate gate scandal.

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